Possibly dreaming.

Atlantis.

2012-03-05T03:49:00.002+08:00

Hello, hello, bonjour!

How long has it been since I did some spring cleaning around here? I got so bored of that frumpy background of piece of sky (points for remembering what my previous background was without reading this, you stalker! Hee.) since months ago. Pretty and blue as it was, there was something about it I never quite fancied. I think I chose it because after countless tries, it was one that finally didn't exceed Blogger's size restrictions (*shakes fists*) and I just rolled with it.

Remember years ago, when I would excitedly change blogskins and go nuts with all that I could accomplish? Now I can't even be bothered to haul ass to change a background picture.

But here I am, finally with so much time and freedom on my hands, and there it is, finally, a new background! It was conveniently the first one that caught my eye as I scrolled through my overflowing folder of desktop wallpapers. A quick check and it was 299KB! It's got to be fate. And now look at how pretty it is. Great way to start my twentieth March on earth, don't you think?

Since I'm on the topic of housekeeping, I might as well mention here too. I might, and when I say might I actually mean I will, be changing my blog address soon! The space here isn't so much used for all that jazz anymore, but more of some deeper and more truthful words that I don't have the emotional capacity to say aloud. Seriously, I have the emotional capacity of a teacup. It's been...what, six, five years since I've changed blog addresses. Am I loyal or what? But it's time I retired this space. So to all you lurkers (I happen to know a few of you reading this space still, hmmmmm), here's a heads up! I may or may not bother with creating another blog just to redirect you to the new page. If you can guess, it's on this page, and it's as new and sparkly as my new background. Hee. Take this as some sort of entry requirement if you want to keep reading my wise and truthful thoughts then: Can't draw an answer from my obvious hint? No entry for you! I'm kidding. You can ask me if you want to know. But you'd risking exposing yourself as a lurker. I'm nice though, terribly so, so go ahead, EXPOSE YOURSELVES.

This move also signifies new beginnings. As you know, I've just finished my final year of Polytechnic. Never thought I would survive this dreadful course, but here I am in one piece! I mean I suffered a few paper cuts here and there, but nothing life-threatening, really. I hope I'd discipline myself to start writing more again. I've missed this space. I neglected it quite a bit in Poly, not quite sure why, but here I am now! I doubt I will be religiously uploading photos and updating about my days like I used to though, so don't expect too much of that. Quite a pity though, because apparently now Blogger it's all sleek and updated, I guess their image-uploading system would be loads better too.

Ah yes, and I'd probably move only after my trip to Yun Nan, though. So if you're really desperate to keep reading my wonderful posts then you have a month to guess! But really, you only need like 5 seconds and a pair of eyes.

And so this brings me to my topic: Yun Nan. About two months ago, in pursuit of something I longed for and thought I could have had, I jumped on the bandwagon to travel to Yun Nan with Ngee Ann Polytechnic for a community service trip. Am I going for the wrong reasons? Maybe. Do I regret my decision to go? A little. But as always, I'm going to depart Singapore with an open mind, and a tinge of excitement mixed with a little more fear of the great unknown.

I'd be gone for two weeks, and this would be my first time staying in a village. I suppose I've always been quite a city girl. Always within reach of civilization, always just two minutes away from a public payphone. I have no idea what to expect for this trip, really. In fact I was that surprised to hear that they have supermarkets there. In a village. Or apparently the town next to the village, which is where we'd be staying.

Usually my worry would be my utter lack of friends around me. If you know me, you know I don't like being without my friends...and unlike usual times, I don't have Dee with me. I now have to depend on the only one other person I know on this trip....Leon. Yet this time there's something different. Maybe it's because this trip has the words "community service" attached to it, but I haven't really been that bothered by my utter lack of friends with me. I am surprisingly quite nonchalant, in fact.

I guess after 6 weeks in Wuhan, I feel that 2 weeks in Yun Nan is nothing. I suppose if there's anything I can't stand on this trip, it's only 2 weeks. I mean, if I survive. Apparently Yun Nan is in quite a natural disaster zone.

If I don't make it back though, at least all of you now have this nicer-looking blog to remember me by.

Oh and I'm rather excited about spending my 20th birthday overseas. I won't be wrapped up in a fluffy bathrobe, sipping Darjeeling and looking over a panoramic view of a beautiful city in a luxurious hotel like I hoped, but at least I'd be giving back to the community. And I may get the chance to finally catch the sunrise on my birthday like I've always wanted to. Sunrises in the great nature must be quite different, right?

Today is my last week in Singapore before I embark on my trip, and surprisingly I'm booked every day up til my flight. I suppose people are afraid I won't return, or something. But I love them for worrying and for bothering to meet up, at least.

And oh if you're fretting about what to get me for my birthday, just get me an Unazukin doll. Please please please do. JUST LOOK AT HOW CUTE IT IS:-

This is the only place where I know sells it locally though. Holy crap it's adorable. Recently I've developed this really odd penchant for traditional Japanese dolls and even the matryoshka dolls. And especially especially fortune cats. Like the handphone ornament I got from Wuhan ages ago and currently can't bear to use.

These dolls aren't just another Barbie or Polly Pocket (even though the latter is rather cute); I love that each one of them has a story, a folklore, or a culture behind its creation. A bigger meaning, if you must.

I think I'd stop here for the night. A long day of pre-trip community service tomorrow. I haven't community service in a while, and I hope I find it meaningful, and not have to walk away from it all feeling even more superficial and fake than before I started.

Goodnight, and may the stars guide you well to your hearts' desire.

Toi + Moi

2012-02-20T19:47:00.005+08:00

I'm sitting here in school alone, and on the verge of completing my Polytechnic education with one last examination.

I'm accompanied by the rain, wooden benches, some studying folk, and my own confused thoughts.

I give relationship advice to my friends most of the time, even though I'm the one with zero relationship experience. Wish I had, but I don't. :/

Anyway, as in turns out, I'm incredibly naïve with my own relationship matters. Like flail-like-secondary-school-girl naïve. When it comes to mentality, I do it Benjamin Button style.

But see, the problem with me is that I fall too easy, fall too fast, fall too deep and get scared and chicken out just as much.

What I have now with J has been great, and he's a really decent guy. I've known him for a bit now since being French classmates a few semesters ago, but all this messaging is so new, and it's throwing my heart and I off a cliff. Where is he going with all of this? What's going to happen, and why now all of sudden? And...are you sure you have the right girl?

I really hate that I tend to overthink things. My brain goes into overdrive and then of course I start falling for him.

My friend asked me today, how talking and messaging J makes me feel.

My first answer was "happy". It does. Make me happy, I mean. I have something to look forward to when I open my eyes in the morning (his "good morning" texts), someone to talk to about things since we don't have much mutual friends, and finally something for my phone to serve its full purpose for.

I suppose it's because no one's ever bothered to spend that much effort to message me like this before. I know I know, I'm such a nun. So yes, talking to him makes me happy. I mean, when I see a message from him, my heart literally soars ok wtf. This is sounding like some sappy shit novel but it is what it is. And if that's not happy, I don't know what is.

But there's something else. Before I can answer my friend with my answer of sappy happiness, there is that one other feeling that's also been so at large that I can't shrug off.

Fear.

What if, and this is a very big possibility, this is all just temporary bliss? Like a dream. A dream that may end in a nightmare. What if one day he just stops messaging and we stop talking, forever? What if this all meant absolutely nothing at all?

My friends and family see me messaging him so much, and they constantly encourage me to get into a relationship. It's not that I don't want to...but I'm afraid to dream. I'm afraid of getting hurt by the very same one-sided feelings that just hurt me barely a month ago. I'm afraid of wishing that something great will come out from my friendship with J. Call it a lack of self-confidence if you must. What the heck does he see in me? Is he sure he's got the right girl?

Someone did this to me once. We messaged a lot for a period of time during internship. It was going well, but one day he just stopped. He stopped replying or messaging. And it hurt. I was genuinely mad at him for a while. Why the hell did you bother getting my hopes up in the first place?

And now with J, I'm truly afraid that it may happen again. Everyday I have this foreboding sense that he's going to stop today. Tomorrow. The next week. Going to leave me hanging. And the worst thing is that I can't do anything about it when he does.

Everyone keeps asking me to start testing the water. Don't reply for a day, and see what he does, that sort of thing. They have no idea how much I wish to test this goddamn water. I can know once and for all where this might possibly go, right? ...But maybe...I also don't want to. I like talking to him. I like getting messages from him talking about totally random things. So maybe, I don't want this dream to start turning a nightmare yet. It's stupid of me to try and hold off the truth for as long as possible, and live in this faux-fairytale. It's incredibly stupid, and I'm well-aware. But why do I have to spoil something that's making me happy?

So for now, no tactics. I'm garnering all my willpower to take things slow, to see how things go. Until then, I will just have to deal with this constant fear and uncertainty.

On those lonely bus rides home, in the music-videoesque moments where you have the window seat, and it's raining and your scumbag of a music player chooses that moment to play a slow sad song; I get really sick of being alone.

Why can't I feel loved like every other girl? I want to be able to smile sheepishly when people talk about us, have that constant pillar of strength to cheer you on when you're down, get back hugs (god I love back hugs), smile sheepishly some more when I think about the sweet moments and all that jazz.

I know every relationship comes with its own share of difficulties, differences and obstacles, and that it's not all about sheepish smiles and back hugs. But that's what I want to experience. I used to be really cynical about love. It may have been influence from all the bad relationships the people around me have went through. But since then I've also seen a fair share of loving relationships. And now the cynicism in me is gone, and what's left is just the hope that one day I can be part of such a relationship too.

All the small moments. That's what counts.

And that's what I wish for.

To feel.

N.V

2012-02-06T01:11:00.003+08:00

On some afternoons,

I sit on my bed,

look out my window

at my quiet neighbourhood bathed in sunshine,

and wonder how it feels like

to be loved.

It must be nice.

Things you keep, and things you don't

2012-01-27T23:06:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, I wonder if I expect too much from my friends.

Sometimes, I wonder if I'm being to harsh, or being too unreasonable.

Sometimes, I wonder maybe I'm just a really shitty friend, but I'm too oblivious to see it.

But sometimes I also wonder, am I being too harsh on myself?

Is it so bad to want to stop ending up as everybody's second option? Is it so bad to want to stop being rejected time after time, asking any of you out to chill and talk?

I get this sinking feeling every time I get turned down, so much and so familiar that I'm actually afraid to ask. Afraid. To ask my own friend out. What kind of friendship is that?

And it hurts, knowing as a friend, I'm not worth the truth.

Thank you, for making promises you can't keep.

Shoes are made for walking, after all.

Endlessly.

2012-01-15T18:39:00.004+08:00

I look back at the last few weeks of my 2011, and I miss it. I miss it quite dearly.

Maybe it's because I'm currently being pushed to the very edge with unhelpful and uncooperative people in every aspect of my academic life, so I'm constantly in search of a good memory just to keep me going, just to keep me alive.

I miss having a social life.

I miss my girlfriends; who are I think the only group of girls I hang out with anymore. -___- I seriously haven't had time to meet them since.....July?! Is that it? JULY? God. D:

I miss sharing laughs with them even when I perpetually feel like a blimp with them. You know how in a clique, there's always the one that sticks out like a sore thumb, and is probably only around because she's funny? I'm that sore thumb. And I'm not even funny. But yes I do miss them all verily so. I feel like a con-woman because I've been promising them to meet up with them as soon as I'm free and I HAVEN'T. I ought to be assassinated.

I miss hanging with Dee, even. Being in different classes is really taking its toll, because now we have different schedules. We had to wait a whole term to pass before we could squeeze out time to shop! And we do this thing where we don't keep in touch during the holidays....so imagine what's going to happen after this term passes (3 MORE WEEKS!!!) and we graduate? ): Doubt she'd be feeling as affected though cos when I'm not around, there's always Syafiq. /shrug

I miss hanging out with Dajie, too. You'd think that now with her new job, which has more routine than at RWS, we'd do dinners more often, but no. I've been especially edgy and snappy recently due to all the overwhelming projects and lack of time management, so we haven't even been talking much. Nor shopping much. I haven't even gotten my shoes for CNY!

Then there's Glenda and Sincheong and all the SC folks. I haven't seen that rude-ass kid Denard for the longest of time, even though I've been meeting the other two every once in awhile. I miss them all, even though as usual they will always team up to make fun of my being a total noob.

And even though I hang out with this bunch the most and the most frequently, I still miss them. Haven't hung out with the guys for two weeks now because we're all in the final stages of our Polytechnic education and FYPs, and all them engineering kids are busting their brains. I haven't had time on my part either, not even to meet them on one of their impromptu lim-kopi sessions. I think that's why I meet them most frequently too. They're the best company for impromptu and incredibly last-minute meet-ups...Then there's another reason of course.

We promised not to be awkward, not for things to change, and I wished so hard for us not to grow distant again, but it is difficult to move on if I see you so frequently.

I haven't set New Year resolutions in awhile, usually because I feel like I don't need a brand new year just to set aims. But based on the circumstances, I told myself that this year, I will learn to let go and move on.

There's no point fishing in a pond where there's no fish; or waiting for a person who will never reciprocate. It's incredibly sappy, but everything still reminds me of you. Then I will remember the outings we had. Then I will bash myself up on the inside on how sappy I'm getting and how pointless it is to live in these memories.

Yes it's difficult to sit and laugh like nothing's happened even after everything has; but I will suppress. Just like what I do with every other emotion I get.

In fact, I think the previous term in school had my classmates see me in a different light. It was a....happier? time back then, when I could share whatever that had happened and get all silly talking about it with them. I felt more...real. And one classmate told me it was nice to see me real for once. I guess it's to say I've previously been functioning like a robot. .___.

Nonetheless, the temporary moment of bliss, of that fairy tale magic has came and gone. It's difficult to not think back about it. Like how the hell did Alice continuing living her mundane life after her time in Wonderland? I don't know how she went back to normal, but I'm struggling.

You'd think it's easy to let go, but him being incredibly nice about it just makes it difficult. Why can't he be a total douchebag instead?! D:

But I do need to get something out; and I will just say it here, at the risk of my sounding like a stalking creep:

I miss you. Despite everything, I miss you. I know there are probably other guys out there more deserving of my efforts, of my heart, even. But for now, you're always around. The temporary moments of bliss in the two weeks and the memories that remain don't help. Maybe I'm being melodramatic, but I'm not kidding either. On my way home on the train, all I think about is us taking the train back together after going out together. I turn a corner in school and I even creep myself out how much I hope that I will run into you. On Tuesday mornings I know your lecture hall is right next to mine; but when you end your lecture, I would've just started mine. On mornings like these, even running into you for 10 seconds to wave and say "Hi!" would've made my day. When I head out somewhere alone, I sometimes think of asking you to accompany me. But I stop myself, because I know I will never move on if I do. Whenever I wait for a bus, I wonder if fate will let me run into you. But you were right...the whole time I've been in NP, I've never actually ran into you on the bus. The conversations we had and the laughs we shared play like a broken record in my head, each more detailed than the next. ...So here it is. This is how much I miss you, how much I think about you. Yes...I am quite aware that I'm incredibly creepy.

But I will get better. Maybe not now, not tonight. But I will be alright.

I will slowly, surely, get over you.

If only you can stop being such a parasite in my head.

试了，哭了，想了，累了。

I am also now more aware that there are still a handful of people reading my blog. Huh. I thought you all would have abandoned ship by now.

I didn't know before; because after months of not touching Blogger, they've apparently added a few new functions to the site. Like that whole Blog Traffic section. Who knew? But yes, now I can apparently keep track of my blog traffic. It was strangely erratic after I posted my previous entry. Is there really quite a need for a reaction. Heh.

Nonetheless, now I have to be more aware of what I put up here again. Drat. But thank you, really, for sticking with this sinking ship. And by ship I mean me. Or a blimp. Hmm.

时间和距离

2011-12-27T23:55:00.000+08:00

Photo credits - My chicken scratch and I.

Today, I finally said what had to be said...Not that it was that necessary, because he already knew all along.

Today, I finally understood what they meant when they say "喜欢一个人，不代表一定要在一起".

Today, I'm really thankful for his honesty.

I never expected much from these feelings I've kept for so long, nor did I expect myself to finally gain enough courage to say what needed to be said.

I've played this scene over and over in my head for so long; steeled myself for the inevitable, and now that it's happened. I...don't know how I feel.

...Numb? Perhaps. I'm not sad, heartbroken, nor disappointed; because I never held any expectations. I'm not happy either; because there isn't anything to be happy about.

I am, however, thankful, for your honesty, and for talking things out with me. I think at the end of the day, just you noticing the things I've done, and you knowing that I care for you; I think that's enough for me.

At least my efforts were not in vain.

Maybe in another world, we are together; or maybe in another world, we never even met. As compared to the latter; what we have now is enough.

I don't even remember what we talked about the whole time we sat there. I only remember thinking how nice it is to be able to talk to you like that, without barriers nor intentions, nor secrets. I used to be scared to wear my heart on my sleeve, because I was afraid it would be torn out easily; but I guess with you I don't have to worry about that.

Thank you, truly, for being you.

At 11:11PM, you asked me if I made a wish. I did.

我只希望...风不会渐渐的...把我们之间的距离吹得太远.

平行宇宙

2011-12-01T21:40:00.004+08:00

柯腾：或许，在另一个平行时空里，我们是在一起的。。。
沈佳宜：真羡慕他们。

Occasionally I watch a Chinese movie or drama, or listen to a Chinese song, and sincerely enjoy it. There's something beautiful about the Chinese language; it can express so much with so little, in a way that no Latin-based language can. I wish I could grasp the language well enough to write with depth, but alas...

So the movie above, 《那些年，我们一起追的女孩》 or You Are The Apple of my Eye, was one I really liked. I suppose I'm jumping on the bandwagon now that it's so critically acclaimed and has such a large following, but it's something that really brings back the memories of what once were. Not only about the puppy-love, but the all the ridiculous things we used to do in class and all the memories we still hold on to.

I haven't left Secondary school for very long, but it's been long enough. I'm at the crossroads of life now, at the limbo age of 19; curious yet afraid of the future. When you're in a position like this, where your future is uncertain.....you really can't help but to look back in time for support. I think it's rather apt that I actually watched this with my secondary school friends.

My dad would always say "Look forward, there's no point to dwell in your past and your memories.". I hate it when he says that. The best things in life that happened, how can you not look back at it all?

On another note, as to the romance in the movie...I can't relate to it entirely, but I can understand...

...The story of what could have been; the story of what cannot be.

After the movie, the quote that stuck to me the most is the one I quoted above. I mentioned this to my friend, and he asked me if I believed in parallel universes.

I've thought about this theory many times before, and I do, I really do; no matter how impossible it may seem.

I think about parallel universes and I think of all the possibilities that could be. So many variations of me, so many things that could differ. A Jia Li that is actually awesome, maybe.

To think that somewhere out there, I could be truly happy. You and I...we could be together. The world could be a better and more peaceful place. A parallel universe, it gives you hope that anything is truly possible.

我们。。。人生会充满太多太多的遗憾和痛苦，
但是，永远都不要因为害怕遗憾和痛苦而失去了勇气。

- 九把刀

Fix a heart.

2011-11-04T00:28:00.003+08:00

I sometimes wonder if any of you out there shares the same hurt as I do, as we get constantly left behind. Not once, nor twice, but so many times. History repeated, again and again.

And now I am not any stronger to withstand this hurt, but I do have this defense mechanism. It's immature...but before any you gets to hurt me, I will run. I will miss you, but I won't stop running. I know if I keep running, I will stop and there will be no one around me anymore. I suppose that will be lonely; but then again there will be no one else to hurt me either.

And then sometimes I also wonder...would I inflict the same hurt when I'm in all your shoes? I know I will, and I guess it's normal to tip the balance, but still this defense mechanism kicks in. And I can't stop it.

I know you're one of the closest friends I've ever had, and I know you probably won't hurt me like all they've done before, but I guess I can't wait around to find out for sure. I've already more or less started running...

I'm happy you all are happy with your better halves. Truly, I am. As always, I'd still be stupidly waiting here for you even as the relationship fails. But that only hurts me again as you leave me in the lurch for another.

I've been left behind so many times. I hate it. All these years and all those times I've asked and been passed over for your better halves. I don't suppose any of you think twice about how I feel as you go off on your own way.

It....really hurts. Because no matter how good a friend you are, you will always, always be just the second option. The bloody back-up plan.

I don't think anyone else out there understands. The people who try to comprehend; I know I just seem petty, or immature, or just plain mean to presume this about people. But they haven't felt the pain that I've felt. So many times.

Ha. I suppose this is just a space for me to be emotional and cryptic now. It's been such a long way from the days when I was a mere 13 year-old, joting down blow-by-blows of my mundane days. It's been six years.

Everything, and also nothing has changed.

Like you. I don't think you would ever think I would still hold some feelings for you. But I do. I guess it's because I've never had closure. You've never said no...but all these time...you've never said anything at all. I know more or less I will never stand a chance, me being me. Good god I do need this closure so badly. I want to move on.....so badly.

All time low

2011-08-07T01:18:00.002+08:00

It's been such a horrible week.

All these friends I supposedly have; are they worth it after all? I want to look back after ten years and be proud to say "Ah, we've all been friends for 10 years! Imagine that.", then we'd all clink our glasses and be jolly.

But this is getting harder. The insensitive and tactless comments I'm supposed to laugh off, the things you all say and do even when you know I hate it...I thought I could take it all in stride, simply because you are my friends.

Recently...it doesn't seem like the case. I call you my friends but you're never around. So this is what our friendship boils down to. A superficial show to let the world see how many people you know?

This is something I always hated to hear from other people but also something that I now cannot stop myself from uttering: "What have you ever done for me?"

I am not the centre of the universe, and I don't expect myself to be. But because we are friends...I thought I can at least not be invinsible in front of all of you.

Apparently not.

I will learn to be selfish.

Goodbye.

Monsters.

2011-08-05T23:11:00.003+08:00

The words they make in passing, they don't just go away.
They don't get washed away with soap and water.
They don't get forgotten over time.

They come back to haunt me, to haunt us; the victims of your words.
They haunt us when we're alone, when we're the most invisible. They take us down when we're most vulnerable.

It's ironic; I feel only safe in the darkness, the same darkness I used to be so afraid of.

The words you say that is a joke...is it, really? They say there is always honesty in the jokes we tell, and I believe it.

This confidence I built around myself, by myself after all these years....all your comments, like arrows, just shot it all down. Crumbling and tumbling down.

It's truly comforting to know, that between "going jogging" and "almost getting run over by a car", your dearest friends; the ones you would do anything for...they only care for the former. To make fun of you for it.

"When I need you the most, will you be there?" No. Nobody will be there.

What will it take, for the people that I am always there for; to be there for me as well?

Sometimes I wonder if anyone will even notice when I'm gone.

Thank You for Classics

2011-07-24T01:10:00.002+08:00

I spent the whole day with Mum and Dad today. Swung by the Immigration and Checkpoint Authority(ICA) building today to pick up our passports.

MP Chen Show Mao was right, when he said "I come back every few months and all through this time, I travel proudly on my red passport and carry my pink IC." Flipping through my own passport makes me swell with pride, and I love hearing about how Singaporean passports are way more trusted when travelling around the world. :]

Sadly though, I found out recently that it takes only 5 years for any foreigner to be able to apply for Permanent Residency (PR), and I wonder; when did the value Singaporean citizenship start depreciating so much?

Collecting my passport at the ICA building today; it was nice being surrounded by Singaporeans and only Singaporeans again. It's not that I oppose foreign talent; they certainly add on to the cultural pool, and I appreciate that. But if and when to begin messing up my home ground...well then something's got to give.

Yes, I look like whack in my passport, again. I don't know why ICA has to insist on editing the photo the way they did....but it will never be flattering on anyone, honestly speaking. My features look so messed up post-edit, the customs are going to have a field day triple-taking again. :/

Headed to Dad's dentist appointment whilst waiting for him, I flipped through a copy of a magazine from March 2011. Maybe it's the advertisement geek in me, but I will never get tired at looking at fashion ads. I love them not because of all the chiseled cheekbones, toned bodies and desirable long legs (although that is a bonus), but the focal point is of the way they're executed and designed.

Is it the photography? The styling? The font and the colours or even the lack of? Perhaps.

Luxury ads aside, I skimmed through an article (in my defense, the magazine was in Mandarin; le horreur) of fashion from the 70's. An rather meh article; really, mostly what I already know and have seen before...

...But then I came across this photograph:

Yves Saint Lauren's Le Smoking tuxedo suit.
Photograph by Helmut Newton.

This photo has probably been circulated to hell and back, but it's the first time I've ever laid my eyes on it, and it really took my breath away. The simplicity of the suit. The quiet street behind her. The classy silhouette. The cigarette casually held between her fingers. The cheekbones. The hair sleeked back to further enhance said cheekbones and match the simplicity of the suit. The pocket square. The unassuming peek of her cuffs beyond her jacket sleeves.

Only one word can describe this, really.

Classy.

Do you see how much I'm gushing? Really, if I could blow this photo up to hang above my bed, that would be more than just any other photos of Paris or the Eiffel Tower or of London. How can such a simple, unassuming photograph take the world by storm to the extent that it still has the very same effect 40 years after?

That, my friends, is true fashion.

Summer Holiday

2011-07-17T03:17:00.002+08:00

Well, the title of this post is ironic, because that is clearly something I'm not having at the moment. No, I'm still on my internship at Toll Logistics, albeit ending soon. Yet not soon enough.

Don't get me wrong; the company is still great, if not better. I suppose after a few months, people finally warmed up to me and I managed to make even more friends around the place. I even developed company pride. I see Toll's prime movers on civilian roads and I beam with pride. I advertise non-stop to my pre-intern friends from the other courses and semesters to join Toll. And I'm surprised to admit...I might actually miss the place.

All I've been thinking off the last few months was how I wanted to leave, and I still want to. But not because the company has been really shitty to me. Sure, there are some pompous douchebags around the place, testing my sanity, but I know it's nothing I won't survive. I suppose I'm lucky I'm the kind to let go and forget stuff. What's the point of remembering the things that won't matter after a few months?

No, my memory space is better saved for precious moments.

So yes...because the people who are decent have been so decent, I might miss this place. And yet I still can't wait to leave. I can't wait to feel and act my age again. To be able to feel liberated and lazy like a student is allowed to again.

I can honestly say, I understand Peter Pan and his love for Neverland. It's scary to grow up. You have to make these decisions about your life. You have to think about finances, about taxes. Taxes!

But mostly...I don't know what to do in University. As my internship slowly draws to a close, the people at the company begin to ask what I plan to do in the future. They want to know if I intend to take on a degree. Of course I will. I conform to society standards. And so if the society standards decree that everyone must have a degree to survive, that is what I set out to achieve.

...But what degree, I wonder? I used to be so sure I wanted to pursue Marketing. Yet I think about it now and honestly...do I really know anything about marketing? Not really. I know diddlysquat. I can name you the Olympians of Greek mythology, but I can't define marketing. So maybe that's not my passion? So then what is?

I seem to me the jack of all (or at least some) trades, but master of none. What does one do then? Pursue something as general as "business" and call it a day? Become a mindless drone amidst the morning crowd of other mindless drones trudging their way to their respective offices?

No, I'm putting my foot down. I will not be a mindless drone. I want to be doing something I at least have a bit of interest in. Not something that's convenient. I know that's very naive of me, but I like cake. I want to have my cake, and eat it too. Hey I have the cake, of course I eat it! It's only fair.

What do I do then? I wish I can keep putting it off. Tell myself I have another semester. I can take a gap year! I can...I can...let things....fall into place by themselves? Leave it up to fate...?

Or....or maybe it's just easier not to think about it, eh?

Where I Stood

2011-05-08T19:35:00.002+08:00

I don't like change. I'd admit that. I hate moving out of my comfort zone. It's comfortable, why should I move, right? But if you want to live life, want adventures and want results, change is inevitable. It is something you have to embrace.

Before I started getting interested in the General Elections 2011, I was all about the PAP. They've governed us from even before we were independent, why should we ask for otherwise? What right to we have to ask for more from them? Aren't they already doing a fantastic job? We're a tiny nation, and yet we own one of the busiest ports in the world, one of the top airlines, a dense population, and home to people with vastly different backgrounds. We should appreciate what we have, right?

But we have no identity, no culture. Despite all the riches that we have, we are a suppressed nation. We blindly follow the incumbent party and whatever policies they put out, and yes, we complain, but who listens? The uncle from the next table in the coffee shop?

Then the General Elections came about. Opposition parties spoke up. Who were they? Nobodies who were ungrateful and unappreciative of the incumbent and all that they have done for us? No. They're average Singaporeans, who, like us all, were supressed. The only difference, was that instead of complaining in the coffee shops, on our blogs or on Facebook, they did it on the podiums. They stepped forward, and they dared. They dared speak out for the people, even if they knew they would receive a lot of flak and backlash and overall disapproval.

Yesteday the GE 2011 ended. PAP won 81 out of 87 seats in Parliament. Potong Pasir fell to the PAP after 27 years of being under the rule of SPP's Mr Chiam See Tong. Worker's Party managed to maintain both Hougang and Aljunied, earning 6 seats in parliament and thus making Singapore history as opposition party who won the most seats ever in parliament. I am in the Pioneer ward, and was contested by NSP's Steve Chia. NSP fielded the most people in this GE, and unfortunately, they won nothing.

Before my friends started being increasingly interested on GE 2011, I couldn't even be bothered. Now I'm overly upset about the results after being overly enthusiastic. Why and how did I become overly enthusiastic? Simply because Singaporeans finally standing up for themselves.

Pro-opposition or not, Singaporeans finally stood up for something we believed in. We weren't the bo chup nation like before. Whether we liked Nicole Seah or hated Tin Peilin, supported George Yeo or Low Thia Khiang; this nation, our fellow citizens, we started having a voice. I don't think I've ever seen so many people so politically aware before.

Forget ST, TNP or Ch5, 8 or CNA. We have Twitter. We have Facebook pages to begin hate-pages and petitions on. Because of social media, we were no longer suppressed by the incumbent and disabled by the lack of a platform to unleash our anger and thoughts on.

So I'd like to extend my most heartfelt appreciation to all the Opposition Parties. Only Worker's Party managed to win seats in the Parliament, but on the other hand, because of all of you, Singaporeans everywhere won a chance to make a difference. You may not have won where you wanted, but you helped increase and instill so much political awareness in Singaporeans.

No matter who I asked, people had an opinion. Not everyone had that nonchalant shrug, and blank look, that "I don't know, I don't read the news" reply. We may not agree all the time, but at least there was an opinion. An opinion we all weren't afraid to stand by. Not anymore.

I may be pro-opposition, but no, I don't hate the PAP. I don't support everything they stand for either. Letting their egos get ahead of themselves, ousting others, throwing your one colleague under the bus or another, being a total airhead and still managing to earn the title of an MP; I don't advocate. But I do appreciate what they have done for this nation.

Yet gratitude is gratitude. If we did everything based on gratitude, this country would have gone the dumps. Nothing would have been achieved. So why am I so pro-opposition, despite the risks and not even being eligible to vote?

Honestly, because everyone deserves a chance. People often forget that PAP was once an opposition party, back when David Marshall won elections in 1955. Even then, when they came to prominence, they obviously did a good job, as all Singaporeans can bear witness to every single day in the present. So why not the opposition now? Why must it be deemed that when they join the parliament, it is a negative thing and that the future of Singapore may be doomed? Are Singaporeans really that cynical to put even the smallest of faiths in a group of people so willing to serve us?

As the NSP truck went around my neighbourhood just now, with Steve Chia personally thanking us for the support given and even wishing all the mothers a Happy Mothers' Day, I felt a tinge of sadness. My family put in their best efforts, and may be even be shunned by the incumbent if their votes are really not secret, and yet we still couldn't help them secure a win. It made me wish so hard that I was actually eligible to vote. ):

What made me even more upset this GE, is that Mr. Chiam See Tong/SPP wasn't able to hang on to Potong Pasir, even after 27 years. His dedication and determination for an opposition's voice in parliament is so, so admirable, and yet during this fight, he took a gamble and lost. Who knows if he'd even be around next election...? I wish you the best of health, Mr Chiam. I may not live in Potong Pasir, or even know you personally, but I certainly support your cause.

So I guess this is all I have to say for GE 2011; a collation of my thoughts, placed here, otherwise I would be pissing off my friends on Twitter. Hopefully the next 5 years, people will continue to fight for a better Singapore. One that everyone would be proud of and can properly call home. By the next GE, I'd be able to make a difference in the political landscape of Singapore too, and be able to serve my nation even with a two simple strokes of a pen.

Until then, we can only wait and see.

Because I want to live

2011-04-20T20:31:00.002+08:00

Hello, hello, hello! The month is drawing to yet another end, and August can't come fast enough for this internship to be over.

I shouldn't complain, because I could've had it much, much worse. The company is decent, the commute short, the supervisor friendly and kind; the tasks simple; and the allowance given is high. I've always been lucky, and because of these events, these crossroads in life, I've learnt not to fight against what I've been given.

JAE, for example, was hellish for me, but I gave in and went into Logistics Management. Good thing I did too; because god forbid I might be totally shitty in Mass Communications or Advertising and Public Relations after all.

OIP, yet another example. I was reluctant to go, because I realised Diyanah or Soniyah always had a chance of not being able to go on the trip, or maybe I wouldn't even pass the pre-trip interview? But the interview never came, and I was notified that I was offered a place on the trip straight up. Yet I still reconsidered, because I'd be totally alone! Back then I thought about it, and since hey hey, I was offered without even so much as an interview, so why the hell not? And boy, would I have regretted if I gave up on the chance to visit a great place, meet such great people and have such a great time.

And now here I am, attending my internship. I won't want to jinx myself, but the experience is good by and far. The other interns attached to the same company are the Wuhan OEC students, and they're all from the same campus I visited in Wuhan last year. Common topics for the win!

Our whole life has been a cause and effect diagram; a line of dominoes. I would go into a whole long paragraph about the decisions I've made that've resulting in the people I've met; which in turn affected my everyday life, and made for my very existence right now. But I won't, because then I'd be mapping out my whole life.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, in the moments before I slip into a deep slumber, thinking. I think about how small we all are, in this great big universe and beyond. It hurts my head to think about it; but the world is such an amazing place. I would've loved to be alive 30, 40, even 50 years ago, when scientific discoveries were being made, and the whole world was just thrown into wonder. Every year something new about the universe and our existence was being uncovered, and everyone was connected by that one moment where we were all just amazed; and our minds blown.

This era, my generation, may be full of technology advancement. It is amazing, sometimes mind-blowing, but I don't think it would ever live up to the moments back when partial truths of our existence was being uncovered. Technology has promised to connect each and every one of us, and yes, it has done just that. I wake up in the morning, not feeling like P.Diddy, and I use my laptop. BAM. Instantly, I'm connected to the world, to all the events going on, and sometimes even to each and every second of someone else's life.

And yet even then, I am still alone. I am still only a girl, sitting in her bedroom, staring at a machine. Technology, is cold. It has no emotions, and while I can feel connected to the world, it is only superficially, and I will never be emotionally connected. I love technology, but I hate it. With my smart-ass phone, my 1-month-old HTC Desire Z, I have the world at my fingertips. I can read about people's misfortunes in life, I predict the weather, I can play Boggle, I can find out where the planets are by aiming my phone in the sky, I can read books, and I can do almost about everything.

But in order to be able to do everything, the thing I give up, is the thing that is the one of the most important to man; physical interaction. Not through messaging, WhatsApping, Tweeting, or Facebook. No, I mean just having a conversation, face-to-face. Even the most instant of social networking platforms, the ones with the real-time updates, can't reenact a physical conversation.

Technology. It's made us all so close, and yet still so far.

And so yes, I digressed yet again. More about my recent life events, then.

I've turned 19, first of all. Nothing new, I'm still sarcastic, long-winded and sometimes a little batshit crazy. Birthdays are never really special to me, really. Life still goes on, and I suppose I go all "Yay well at least I'm still alive! \o/ " every birthday...but that's about it.

The presents don't hurt, of course, and I appreciate every present, even the ones that I never open because I can't bear to use them. This year too, I received my first ever Tiffany's! Dajie gave it to me for my birthday present, a thin timeless band from their Notes collection. I wear it everyday now, and boy I hope I will never lose it. :)

And I suppose the thing that's most important to me on my birthdays are the people who care enough to remember.

This year, I took my birthday off Facebook, just to see who would really remember, without that pesky insincere birthday notification thing that Facebook has. As it turns out, not a lot of people remember, like the people that I hold really dear to my heart.

Okay, so call me superficial or even immature, but it really feels nice to know when someone cares enough to remember that single date out of the other 365 days. On the other hand, to realise that half your class doesn't give a rats ass about your birthday kinda hurts. :|

On top of that, I finished my last semester with a whooping 3.4231 GPA. It's not crazy amazing, but that's the highest I've ever raked up so far! This is the semester I slacked the most too, and I screwed up all my exams, but not a single C in sight on my report card. Boo frickin' yeah. Oh and that IS module I took in Wuhan? AD. OH YEAH. All that blogging was ALL worth it, even thought this IS is only 2.0 credit unit, but still.

Every time I return to my Wuhan Blog now, I still swell with pride. :D

I also received an A for my Basic French 104, which was a REALLY big surprise. I did SO badly for my final speaking and written test, I thought I'd be a C for sure. But that A makes all the tired evenings and missed dinners SO worth it.

Plus, I took a vacation module for my Intermediate French 201 that one precious week before I started my internship, and I got an AD. FYEAH. Again, sacrificing my one and only week of holiday; WORTH. IT.

The French teacher I met during my IF201 was such a role model to me. She was awfully friendly, even more friendly than my usual French teacher. So this teacher, Rachel Chamillot, she's Swiss. Not only that, she knows 5 languages, and one dialect. FIVE. LANGUAGES. She also does translating services on the side.

But really. 5 LANGUAGES. Degree in Linguistics. Okay so scratch that, she's not really a role model. More like my idol? Yes. Sadly though, she likes translating too much to go into teaching full time, so I never saw her again after that one week with her. Yesterday, I found out on Facebook that she was leaving for Switzerland today. ):

I only knew her for a week, but I would really miss her. One of the best teachers ever.

I won't share photos this time round, so thank you for drinking in all that crazy text that I just emptied out.

Until next time, which may be next week, next month, next year, or even light years later, I don't know. But until then, always, always remember to appreciate the small things in life.

P.s: Hope you're doing well far far away, Fah! This post is for you to read, since I don't think you get to read a lot of English in Dalian. :)

Hello Forever

2011-02-21T04:21:00.011+08:00

Where the hell have I been these two months? I know, I know, it's been forever. How is it that my first post of 2011 ended up in February?! Such monstrosity.

But yes I suppose I lack the time, the point and the motivation to blog. I used to blog photos, but that's all in Facebook now. I used to talk about random things that pop up in my mind, but recently I think a lot lesser and sleep a lot more. Fun fact: I can't remember my dreams after I wake up, so I can't blog much about that either.

But yes, here I am. I actually have a draft written for 1 January 2011, but obviously that didn't work out very well.

2010 has been great, and I would do my usual long-winded end-of-the-year post, but I don't suppose there's much point now...

I have to say all the adventures from 2010 were fantastic though. Where do I start...Wuhan perhaps?

I've been harping on an on about Wuhan since months ago, I know. Honestly though, it was such a great escape from this familiarity around me. Every day there was such a great adventure, even just trying a new restaurant from down the street was worth raving about. I suppose that would be why people love to travel. The stories you tell when you're back home; it's really never-ending.

Earlier in 2010 I visited Hongkong as well, alone with Dajie for the first time. I braved it with a fever the whole trip, but it was so worth it. I missed out a lot on the food there though, like the funky flavours of potato chips and that delicious Dark Chocolate Vitasoy (!!!!) that I never got to try. I miss Hongkong. I know my way around my dad's apartment (somewhat), but still it offers so much more than Singapore, in a way I just can't explain.

Is it the speedy way of life there? Or the seasonal changes? Or the shopping? The dingy restaurants? I don't know. But I do know Singapore is so safe, and clean and such a faux-perfect little concrete city, we end up having so much culture and yet so little at the same time. And that's just...well, boring.

Point is, now that it's 2011, god I hope I get to travel again.

'm now at the end of my sophomore year in Polytechnic. How strange is that? Just two years ago I was a confused little shit figuring out where Blk 39 was. Now I'm on duty at Open Houses lying to the potential freshmen about how awesome Logistics Management is and telling them where to alight even though they didn't ask. (If you're a freshman I lied to; I'm sorry, I did it for the CCA points. Please don't give me bad karma >.< )

So yes, I actually begin my attachment next semester.
Am I afraid? Heck yes.
Will I know what I'm doing half the time? Of course not.
Will I be an awkward turtle there? Better expect that.
Am I excited? In a perverse sort of way, yes. Well okay more like I can't wait to get it over with. It might actually be the longest 6 months of my life.

I spent about 3 weeks worrying about my placement because I really wanted ST Logistics up in Choa Chu Kang, where I can take 172 freely without worrying every morning if I would be groped.

Alas, fate is cruel. I ended up being passed over for my place in ST Logistics, and offered an interview at Toll Logistics down in 21 Jalan Buroh instead.

That's around Tuas. I only have one bus to take to work in that case. That's the same one bus that about 100 other people would be rushing to take with me every morning.

That's the same one bus that doesn't have an air-condition system. Oh sweet jeebus how will I even survive these 6 months.

Oh there's no shuttle bus for Boon Lay to Toll Logistics either. I might end up taking a train to Jurong East to catch the shuttle bus to work. It's illogical, but I'm spoilt and pampered so...

At some point though, I felt like it was JAE all over again. You know, back when I ended up being posted to Logistics Management and had zero idea what this course was about, and was shitting my pants worrying about my appeal? Yeah, that.

After I was quite sure ST Logistics wasn't gonna take me, I ended up just submitting my fate to whatever higher power was up there. I mean, sure I don't always get what I want in life, but so far I've been really lucky enough to get by. I may have ended up in some course I still have no interest in, but I have friends who help me by. Without this course I would never have ended up in Wuhan either. So honestly, I guess sometimes by letting go of your adamant demands, you'll end up getting so much more.

By the way, some time ago I was given an opportunity to go back to Wuhan, this time for 4 months. To finish the rest of my Year 3 modules there with the OEC students. Diyanah and I was so excited we indicated our interest on the feedback form right away.

I didn't really want to think twice either, I mean after all it was yet another adventure. And for 4 months! I get to finish my curriculum 2 months earlier than when studying in Singapore too.

But I had to stop myself, of course, because reality always gets in the way. Always. I couldn't go after all, because after really thinking twice, I realised I had French to continue after my attachment.

It was also rather impractical to spend $4,000+ just to go back there to do what I can just do here. It was an adventure yes, but one that's just simply not worth the expense. ):

Plus, you know, the awesome OIP people won't be there with us, so there wasn't much point.

I suppose I could go Hongkong just to visit Nam. I'm still sore that I didn't manage to send her off because of that bloody test. The same bloody test that got postponed to a later date. God I hate that lecturer. >:

That farewell picnic at Marine Barrage back then (23 January I think...?) was great though, even if Nam did arrive late. Afterall I hadn't been on a picnic in such a long time.

Oh yes and speaking of photos, let's show off my new Anna Sui wallet. Early birthday present from Dad :3

Dark purple on the left as compared to my clearly worn out one on the right. :D

My crazy 2L03 before breaking for Lunar New Year break. <3 href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-o0PEUKymgl4/TWGEvYlyjsI/AAAAAAAAEzw/nP62u3GnmIw/s1600/IMG_4861.JPG">

Well okay so that's one lesson learnt; POST REGULARLY. God this post took forever. All the words and photos too, yowza.

Props to you if you actually finished all of these random rambling. Take it as a pair of friends catching up then. Now I have to go to bed; it's Cram Week!

Till next time then!

Christmas Cranes

2010-12-27T18:45:00.009+08:00

Well there goes another Christmas, then! I had a pretty fantastic Christmas, both eve and the jolly day itself.

Because Leon just underwent an operation for his busted knee, he was stuck at home for both Christmas and for the New Year. Not the wisest choice to have an operation this time of the year, but still. So the usual 4C homies ended up at his place for a Christmas countdown so that he could join in the festivities. I ended up being the only girl there because I got abandoned by all three Huilin, Peilin and Ange. ;__;

But anyway, I had a better time than I thought I would have. I ended up staying over even though I didn't initially want to. We laughed, we played Chubby Bunny, we prank-called, we played with Leon's crutches and wheelchair, we drank, we shared stories, I watched them dance to some wacky Wii game and fell asleep for ten minutes doing so.

On account of my being socially awkward around guys (something stupid brought forward from primary school -___-), I don't think I've ever just spent time with them like that. It's always been just a short movie, a short dinner, or watching them play basketball near my park. It was nice to actually get over my irrational awkwardness (you'd think after years of being friends I'd be fine with them but apparently not) and talk with them. I managed to talk to Guangyou after years of not doing so (or maybe it was unprecedented, I don't know) and catch up with Boontso, who I've pretty much neglected for a long period of time now.

Maybe it was Christmas magic, but I really had fun. Watching them try and play Chubby Bunny was epic, and I forgot how game they all were. When I insisted they all wear santa hats since it was Christmas, they gamely accepted and we went to Daiso to grab a few. The result was quite hilarious, since Daiso sold a variety of santa hats. Behold:

Chubby Bunnying after a game of Texas Poker.

They also left Daiso with some random items meant for the Christmas gift exchange, like buttloads of winter wear. The best gift of the night was of course Dickson's sack of potatoes. Bing An was the lucky git that got it, but he left it at Leon's place after we left anyway, hur hur.

See, winter wear.

See, sack of potatoes.

So yes, I got home at around 9AM on Christmas morning, sleepy as hale. Can't deny the fact that I had fun though, and I'm glad I pushed myself to go celebrate with them.

On Christmas Day itself, things were a little less exciting since I was still tired from the previous night. I only managed to sleep for roughly four hours before waking up to upload the photos onto Facebook for everyone to laugh at.

We went for a Christmas dinner after, at Resorts World Sentosa's Singapore Seafood Republic. It's only my third time to RWS and thankfully enough I managed to bring Dad, Mum and Erjie around fine. :D

The food was pretty good, and the service fantastic. The bill was a bomb though, $400+ for a set meal of four plus some ala carte. I don't think Dad minded though; it was Christmas afterall, and Dajie just gave him a red packet before the dinner.

We stayed around the restaurant despite the rain, because it was the opening of the free water show at the RWS Waterfront, named Crane Dance, apparently. Here's a news article on it.

(Photo credits to RWS.)

It was slated to 9PM, but to the chagrin of the many people waiting to watch, including/especially my parents, it started late. It was undeniably spectacular though; it being a combination of music, water, LED screens, pyrotechnics and what not.

The best thing from watching the Crane Dance:
Pa and Ma sharing one umbrella under the rain. ♥

So yes, Christmas presents or not, I guess you can tell I had a wonderful Christmas.

Today was my one free day before spending the rest of the week out the door until the end of the year. This is rare, me actually having such a social life, but I guess it's fate letting me make the most out of my last week of 2010. Not that I mind though; it's really not healthy for me to be spending so much time in front of my laptop.

So after slaving over my WSS report two days straight (I slept at 6AM for two days since Christmas to finish this), the result with a 5556-word report by myself. Accomplished or what! But yes, after being done with the report, I helped Dad with painting the house. We've been making some major changes in the recent months, like renovating our kitchen, buying new furniture and repainting parts of the house.

Our new chio kitchen! (Okay so it's about a month old by now but still)

I painted my study room before I left for China (that's right, all by myself, bitches), and Dad and I did the living room months ago. Now it's the front gate and the ceilings. Tiring work, but I rather do it than let Dad do it. I'm writing this only since I'm taking a long break, heh.

I've also started updating my lovely new Simpson's 2011 organiser, courtesy of Dajie! She had an extra one and it's awfully...awesome so I'm using it instead.

It's not The Simpsons official merchandise, but the graphics are pretty darn good. It's from Korea too, so yes, I loving it even more!

Well okay, this shall be the abrupt end to a very long-winded post. Just thought I'd share some photos since I've been having a photo-drought for some time now. Hope y'all had a great Christmas!

Like Ninja

2010-12-19T00:07:00.005+08:00

I don't know why it takes me a month just to come up with another post. It seems like these days, I just have less things to ramble and grumble and mumble about. I guess you could say I keep running out of things to talk about. Or maybe all that blogging done in Wuhan basically sapped all my blogging powers dry.

I still miss the place, though. It's been two months since I came back and my Rainlendar weather forecaster on my desktop still hasn't been switched back to local weather. Yes, I'm still keeping tabs on Wuhan's weather.

Anyway, that aside, I guess I'd start talking about what I've been up to these few weeks.

Firstly, well the highlights in my hair has been changing over the last three months. They went from purple to a few different shades of bleached blonde after they faded out. The hairstylists in China used to marvel at how many colours I had in my hair, and use my hair as a palette. -___-

When I got back, I dyed over my highlights so they were red instead. That didn't last too long, so some two or three weeks ago, I got Mum to dye burgundy over them in our very own toilet. Now it's kind of fading out again, despite me using the colour-stay shampoo for like, forever. RAGE.

And after all that, I still miss having purple hair. :/ Don't think I will ever learn my lesson about bleached hair.

Remember how I've been sent to CWT Pte Ltd for off-campus learning for five weeks? Well, I went back for the last time last Tuesday. Believe it or not, I actually miss the place. At least I'm a little more productive in there than when I'm sitting in FPD lectures. I usually sleep in lectures instead.

Despite my complaints about the first week, Julia and I got lucky for the following four weeks, because we actually managed to get the employees there to give us work to do. It was quite fortunate, really. We even got to use their computers, do some documentation for them , and everything. Since we got to work on our final report (about the off-campus learning as a whole) whilst we were there, the employees helped us look through our work too. How lucky were we, really?

I'm also really happy to say that I'm actually keeping in touch with my OIP friends. I honestly didn't think I would have that chance after we came back. They're after all, together in one class, in another course, while it's just the other few of us in Logistics Management. It gets difficult at times, trying to meet up while having different schedules, but I'm really glad it's worked out more or less.

I suppose surviving out there in a foreign land by ourselves (okay maybe not quite, but you get my point), you end up having this special bond together and memories that really can't be easily forgotten.

I've lost so many friends along the way; some of them who I used to really share good times with, some of them I swore I would never lose contact with. Why or how we lost touch, I don't really know. Some of them get attached; sometimes too attached. Some of them just distanced themselves, so far that I can't see them anymore. Some of them changed, just like I know I did.

I know my OIP friends and I; we'd probably grow out of each other soon. I might lose touch with them just like with the friends I've lost. We might have arguments and misunderstandings; we might have other commitments. So I guess...that's the reason I hold on so tightly to the memories we had, and the moments we get to share for now.

The other night, I finally went to Universal Studios, Singapore! I know, I know, I'm really late. It's been there on that little island for more than a year, and I have a sister working there, and I only go there now? Well in my defense, that ride I really want to take crashed and burned (not literally), so I'm putting off my actual visit for now.

So I went there for the Universal Studios Management Christmas party as my Dajie's plus one. It was awkward for me (despite trying my best not to be as awkward), and the food was meh, but at least getting to see the behind-the-scenes of the themepark and running to Orchard Cineleisure for a movie after that made up for it.

We actually caught Tron: Legacy on it's opening night! An 2300 show and it was full-house. I was skeptical at first, seeing how it was produced by Disney. :/ I wasn't expecting the best of storylines, because well, it's freaking Disney. But the visuals during the whole show was so, so, so worthwhile.

And the Daft Punk soundtrack and cameo? Dajie and I was spazzing out so much in the theatre. She actually gasped quite audibly when Daft Punk appeared, and with all my excitement during the show, I think I might've freaked myself out if I were someone else.

This movie while, as expected, didn't have the best storyline (and it had so much potential! Sigh.), it really did renew my love for Daft Punk...

...to the point that I came out with a list of why to love them. Let's call this a...Daft List.

The Daft List:

1. They're robots.
2. They're French.
3. Customised leather jackets are cool.
4. ROBOTS!!
5. They're like the real life version of Tron.
6. L.E.D helmets are awesome.
7. I love jammin' to Digital Love.

8. Seriously, robots.
9. They actually wore Balenciaga to the Tron: Legacy premiere. Super classy. Behold:

10. Their album can contain only beats and no lyrics whatsoever, and I still love it. This is rare for me.

I don't really care even if those awesome helmets are actually hiding two really ugly and old as crap Frenchmen; they're Daft Punk! And as long as they don't kill kittens, or are secretly cannibals, I'd probably keep jammin' to them when no one's looking.

(...Yes I was bored and ran out of things to talk about; how'd you guess?)

In recent news, maybe you haven't noticed, I don't know; but Christmas is upon us! I've mentioned it a thousand times before, I love Christmas. It's a huge-ass and really successfully marketing scheme that the coporate officials have cooked up, but I love it anyway. I love that the most stereotypical of Christmases. The snow, the pine trees, the fairy lights (fairy lights!!), the nicely-wrapped presents (no matter how crappy), the hot chocolate, the holly wreaths, and the ornate little Christmas decorations they sell everywhere, despite the fact that most Singaporeans don't own Christmas trees.

It's this time of the year that I always end up wishing it would snow. ): Oh to have a real white Christmas...

Techno without logic

2010-11-26T00:22:00.002+08:00

It's been raining these few days, and I can't help being happy remembering all the times we've$$ all huddled together against the cold winds in China. It's been a month, but my head is still stuck back there and I'm waaay too reluctant to let go of the memories. I know, I know, I have to move on and catch up with life.

Anyway, I've lost all my handphone contacts twice this month now. The first time was from when my beloved phone did a master reset on my ass and lost all the recent contacts I've saved in my phone. :/ Thankfully I had the older numbers stored in my SIM card so it wasn't that bad. The phone also stopped detecting my memory card, so I ended up having to change a phone.

Two days ago, my SIM card officially died on me. The phone I just changed into suddenly stopped detecting my SIM card and it refused to work on other phones too. I can't help but think fate is trying to make me redraw my social circle. Not that there was anything wrong with it the last time, but this is its second (and successful) attempt to kill my contacts list! It's exasperating, really.

My final straw with technology? My laptop. Okay so it was mostly my fault, since I smacked a mug 3/4 full of milk onto the keyboard, but still! The right side of the keyboard is all funky now and I can't type the number nine, nor six. The right arrow key doesn't work either. Oh, and the touch pad too; it doesn't detect my taps.

The situation was worse initially, since whenever I restarted my laptop, there was some loud and continuous beeping. So keyboard smashing, more rebooting, and some Googling on beep codes told me it was probably due to keyboard error. After the spilled milk, it was logical if I had keyboard error, right? So I Googled some more on how to clean my keyboard.

They make taking out your keys on your keyboard look super easy, but it isn't. I didn't break any keys, but let's just say it's not easy to fix the pieces that holds on to your key if they came apart. My backspace key is all wonky now, and my number nine still doesn't work. At least the beeping stopped (I hope).

Oh and now for some reason the scroll bars are butt-crazy now. They keep scrolling to either ends of the page automatically, making it absolutely impossible to d, read anything in the middle of the page. As I type this post, the cursor keeps jumping to some other paragraph and my next alphabet ends up there instead. It's taken me five minutes now to type this short paragraph.

From the recent events, I've came up with two conclusions:

1. I've been jinxed.

2. Technology has made it its ultimate mission to screw me over and eradicate me as a keen follower in its kingdom.

Argh, to hell with technology. I'm going back to good ol' reading. I can't be contacted for now, until I haul my lazy ass down to Plaza Singapura to get a new SIM card. God I should probably fix my laptop, this shit is annoying me to no end.

How did we

2010-11-16T22:40:00.002+08:00

I hate it when the people who means the most to you are the ones who disappoint you the most. You want to go out with the bunch of people you love so much and always have so much fun with, but it always ends with you getting let down.

It takes two hands to clap, and sometimes it truly gets tiring trying to keep up with a bunch of people who keep moving so fast together. I know it's easy for all of them to meet up often (hell, they see each other everyday), but I want to hold on to all the good times we have, and the good times we can have before the assignments and deadlines hit us like a wave.

I saw this quote once:

Don’t walk away, don’t be distracted, don’t be too busy or tired, don’t take them for granted. Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together. Powerful stuff. “
— Jon Katz

And I wish it was really that easy to not walk away, be too busy or tired. It's really difficult.

Today was my first off-campus visit to the CWT office. It was like a mini attachment for the next five Tuesdays. When we arrived there, they didn't know what to do with us, and we didn't know what to do with ourselves. Every time we asked a question, it felt like we were bothering the employees there.

I spent a whole afternoon staring into space and trying to stay awake because I was trying to practice the right office etiquette. Yeah, I should've taken the initiative to ask for work, but there really wasn't anything for us to do when we weren't trained to use their logistics systems.

And seriously, you'd be surprised how tired you can get from doing absolutely nothing the whole day. I'm dead beat now and disappointed and just really too tired to go on.

Do You Remember

2010-11-03T14:58:00.002+08:00

Hey y'all! I know, I've been out of commission for so long, one would've thought I've fallen off the edge of the Earth. But I've been alive and kicking and back home for about three weeks now. I initially thought I could update a more real version of my experience whilst in Wuhan, one that isn't polished and peachy for my IS grades; but I obviously didn't, seeing how the internet/VPN was impossibly slow there. Plus I spent all my time dedicated to my Wuhan blog itself, I barely had time to do anything else.

So how was the Wuhan trip? It was fantastic. It wasn't posh and a first-class experience, but that's what made it great. I didn't think I would learn so much from just five weeks there, but I did. Life there is different, but not by much. I actually handled my Mandarin so well, at least seven people praised my fluency! Oh yes, you heard right. I do have good Mandarin after all.

I think the real best part of the trip was all the friends I made. There were some I couldn't quite get along with, some I still share a bit of awkward moments with, but majority of them are friends whose company I didn't think I would enjoy so much.

All that animosity at the beginning of trip was gone by about four days into the trip, and I guess there's really something about living together and there being only each other to depend on for five weeks in a strange land that strengthens your bonds.

I was so grateful for all the memories and friendship, I actually slaved for a week to make this video:

Probably not the best choice since we had our own group movie to finish off at the same time, but I just really wanted to do something for every one to look back on. For myself, too.

At the final presentation, the A-team (which is my group for this trip) won 1st runner-up for the best movie, yay! I didn't expect the win since I thought other groups really did better, but I guess they appreciated all the effort Hanhui put in. We got a SoE MDE (my academic school division) shoe bag as a prize, plus a couple of other miscellaneous items inside! We labeled it as "limited edition", since MDE ceased existence with effect from 1 Nov 2010 (more on this later).

On the same day, I got awarded two other shoe bags. One for having the best blog, and another for all the designing work I helped to do before and during the trip. I know it's nothing much, but it was certainly nice to know that your work has been appreciated. I gave away two of the shoe bags though, since I really didn't need so many and they were limited edition after all. :D

So do I miss Wuhan? Definitely. I have so many things left undone when we left, we're all actually toying with the idea of heading back there. We could stay at one of the motels near the school campus, and since we all already know our way around, it shouldn't be difficult...But that's for the (near?) future, and for now I'm really just happy to hold on to my memories while they're still drifting around in my head, and keep in touch with all the awesome people I've became friends with.

I think one of the things I miss the most right now is the weather. It was sweltering during our first week there, waaaaay hotter than Singapore. We were all pretty much caught off-guard since we were expecting slightly colder weather. Our wish got granted about a week and a half into the trip though, since it suddenly turned from summer to autumn overnight.

One thing about the weather in Wuhan is how drastic it can change. It was about 32 degrees on the last day of summer, and 18 degrees the next morning. The crisp autumn air every morning, was something I truly enjoyed too. Seeing the warm colours of the leaves on the ground and on the trees, and the cold wind blowing every once in awhile. A week after we returned, the temperature over there dropped to below 19 degrees. Mad jealous. :/

I won't post any photos of Wuhan up here, since almost every photo I took during the trip has already been uploaded on my Wuhan blog.

So I mentioned before that my academic school Multi-discipline Engineering (MDE) was no more. The courses Logistics Management (LMGT) and International Supply Chain Management (ISCM) are now officially under School of Business and Accountancy (BA).

Remember when I first got my results and got posted to MDE, I used to lament about wanting my course to be a business course? Yeah I take it all back now. It's strange because I don't especially love MDE, nor do I have any speicial attachment towards it. In fact, I know it would look better on my diploma if I graduated under BA, but I still resentment when people cheered at the news of the change.

I guess it's because of the habit of the idea of MDE. In MDE we were one of the better courses, and now that we're in BA, with the COP being in the range of 15, we're now obviously the black sheep of BA. And that's not a good thought at all.

I'm no doubt a creature of habit, that I can admit. And I guess if they start making us have our lessons at the BA area next semester, I'm really going to miss talking about the yellow submarine blocks and being confused about Blk 46 and 47. :/

Eh, I could never decide if change is good or bad.

Stop this train

2010-09-13T12:38:00.002+08:00

Hello, hello, hello.

Today is my last day in this sunny little piece of land. Tomorrow at this time I'd be in running around Changi Airport waiting for my flight. The day after tomorrow at this time, I'd probably be at Wal-mart shopping for my everyday needs.

I'm still feeling indifferent about leaving for a month. I get excited at the thought of leaving in a dorm and exploring new places around the dorm. Then I get bouts of worry, but then relax because I convince myself that it's only four weeks.

The most fantastic thing? I'm not done packing. I'm barely halfway through. Guess that's what happens when you throw all your clothes to wash only two days before you leave. Bad choice.

Can't Nobody

2010-09-09T19:56:00.002+08:00

Hey y'all. Guess what?

Apparently having purple highlights is a real head-turner, and very OMG-inducing.

Still loving it though!

Playback

2010-09-06T02:46:00.003+08:00

Uh, hello. Today, I spent the whole day with some of the people I miss schooling with the most; Hongwei, Leon, Guangyou, Dickson and a little of Chihpeng.

(Back in 9 July, 2009)

I realised today that even after knowing them for four years and going through the grueling stage that was our 'O' Levels, it's actually the first time I've ever studied with 4/5 of them.

Every time I meet them, it's like going back in time. Life would be on rewind and we'd be talking about all the stunts they used to pull in Secondary school and the lies we told our teachers. Those were truly the days.

I'm happy to have grown up and out of secondary school life and moved on to Polytechnic life, but some times I really miss being back in the 4C classroom. We had a class identity (being the under-surface troublemakers), our own classroom to vandalise, and a common goal (to pass our O levels and traumatise the teachers at the same time).

I guess it's silly to reminisce about these little things two years after we've graduated and especially now that our old school grounds are just piles and piles of debris. Something about just being around people of our past, I suppose.

Anyway, so I studied with them, had dinner and then we went our separate ways. Now that it's 3AM, I want to study some more but I'm here again. -____-

And to think I have to meet Julia and Lynn in school at 11AM later. I takes me an hour to prepare for school, and another to travel. I have to up by 9AM. Curses.

Side Effects

2010-09-05T03:31:00.004+08:00

I'm pretty sure I'm near the eye of the storm now. It's less than 300 meters away, seeing how the skies are flashing every one minute and the thunder claps close behind.

Yesterday's CRM paper was alright. I could have done better, but I can't change anything now so I'm just going to have to be content with what I'm going to get.

I have another two more papers to go and then I'd have to start packing for Wuhan. I have a thousand and one things to do before I leave, like paint my study room so that Dad won't have to do it himself when I'm gone. I still have to pack (for a 35-day trip; unprecedented!) and meet up with a couple of my friends one last time before I leave.

Sometimes I wonder if I'd be missed at all. I'm not seeking for attention, I really wonder if I impact anyone's life at all. Probably not a lot, if at all.

I've been thinking, anything can happen whilst I'm in Wuhan. Maybe I'm being a little dramatic but there's always a probability, right? A natural disaster, a car accident, me getting lost due to the utter lack of sense of direction I inherited from my mother. I guess this trip really requires a gigantic leap of faith, in which I hope I land safely. But if I don't make it back though, I just want to put it out there; you'd all be missed for sure. ♥

Well the skies are red and flashing, the thunder claps are becoming more frequent and it is now 28°C(I love that I can see the weather via my Rainlendar, heh). I guess it's time for me to retire to the comforts of my bed and pray and hope I won't get awakened by my sister talking on the phone yet again. I'm sleeping, man, is it really that demanding if I ask you to take the call outside? :/

Either way, good night, whoever.

White Rabbit

2010-09-03T12:44:00.002+08:00

Instead of studying like I was meant to, and sleeping early like I was meant to, I ended up customising my Rocketdock and Rainlendar and doing up a new desktop wallpaper (featuring GD!). Not exactly the most productive way to spend a day when my exams were only two days away, but at least now looking at my desktop makes me feel happy inside. Nom nom nom.

T-11 days to Wuhan! My initial excitement is just becoming a pot of mixed emotions now, whoop.

Lovelier than you

2010-08-29T03:56:00.003+08:00

So how bored of the previous layout were you non-existent people? It's been such a long time since my last change and honestly, I think at some point I didn't post something new for so long was because I was bored of the layout myself.

Why didn't I change it sooner? Most of time I was hounded by projects and tests or something else that was begging for my time or attention. Or I would start a new layout idea on Photoshop, get distracted, and forget about my idea. By the time I got back to my opened file on Photoshop, I would have gotten bored of the idea and would be done twiddling around with it. I have a lot of discarded designs in my folder, and I'm way too lazy to continue with them and show them to the world.

I know this layout isn't anything much, and it's plain, and worst of all (for people like Syai, who may or may not be reading this, I will never know), pink. Hot pink?! I know; such shock, such horror! Jiali and pink? Never!

Well here you go anyway.

I don't ever have a favourite colour, nor a specific colour that I hate. They each have their special times to shine, and there's always something that I will like about the colour. The one colour I like to choose is always blue, though. It's versatile, there're lots of shades possible; one for every occasion! Like Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans! I don't suppose that's my favourite colour, but probably just one that is suitable for almost everything.

Oh and I suppose there will be questions about why I am a spaceman.
1. I space out, quite a lot. Dajie used to call me Space Cadet Sally, with photographic evidence in the midst of setting up her bed. ...Eh? Yeah.
2. This blog is my space. I write in it. Put that together, and it makes me a spaceman, or a spacewoman, whatever floats your boat. The general term "spaceman" floats mine.

Also, I am indeedly a night owl. I keep updating this space in the wee hours of the morning, when it's cool and absolutely quiet. It's a gibbous moon tonight and it's spectacular, by the way!

Saw it when I was walking around Riverside Point with the family and BKK/BJJ after dinner as celebration for Mum's birthday dinner. She turns 52 on 30 August!

Ah, and I just remembered I won't be around for Mid-Autumn in Singapore. :/ Well, at least it'd still be the same huge-ass full moon. Alright, I think it's good time I retire for the night (morning?).

Early Birdie

2010-08-27T00:37:00.002+08:00

Hello.

Today, I blew $12 to rush down for my final OIP briefing.
Today, I found out my flight to Wuhan leaves at 1325 on 14 Sept, and that I have to be at the T1 by 11AM, which means I have to be up at 8AM at least. Shit.
Today, I found out apparently people don't understand the Malay and Indian cultures as much as I thought everyone would.
Today, I slept so soundly on the bus, I conked my head on the window. This is unprecedented.
Today, I waited a whole hour (or more) in the clinic, having my ears assaulted by various children screaming. If I do have children in the future, I don't know what I'd do if they are like that. Maybe glare at them so hard, I'd need to wear sunglasses whenever I speak to them. Hmm.
Today, I waited a whole hour (or more) to get an injection that took two seconds. Doctor also seemed amused at how the people in China uses an IV drip for every little ailment, even headaches. I share the same sentiments.
Today, I noticed that I really have no fear of injections. At all. All that shenanigans with my mum distracting me with sweets (the real scene, according to Dajie, is hilarious) when I was a kid must've stuck.

Today, I cannot continue this post any longer because the effects from the flu vaccination is kicking in and my left arm is getting sore. I am also more tired than I thought.

Oh, and today, I actually felt slightly sad when the Olympic flame went out during the YOG Closing Ceremony. I also cringed countless times at Mr Ng's French (that is NOT how you say "merci bien", sir).

Any Other Day

2010-08-26T05:24:00.002+08:00

Meh, it's 524AM, and I'm still trying to keep myself awake to wake Dajie for work in a bit. D:

Ah, I'm actually going for a vaccination later after my final OIP briefing, where we'd get our passports back and receive our air tickets. There's no turning back now! Plus Dad got me lots of stuff from Hong Kong to bring to Wuhan (oh the irony). I'm thinking he's really worried about how lost I might get when I'm there.

He actually got so worried when I went to Hong Kong with Dajie and even drew me a map of his neighbourhood. It was awfully sweet, and I still keep it somewhere. Too bad he can't draw one of Wuhan for me though. :/

In fact this time I would actually be guiding Dee and the other Malay room mate around since they don't know Mandarin. Oh, the sheer prospect of that. I could barely order minced meat noodles without stammering at the hawker today.

아이구 I'm way too sleepy to stay up any longer. Am off to poke the sloth up, goodybye!

Just Like That

2010-08-20T20:34:00.002+08:00

I'm pretty darn sure Singaporeans are one of the most unappreciative citizens around. I'm Singaporean too, and almost all the time, I get so annoyed just listening to my fellow Singaporeans complain about new policies, about old policies, about the ministers, about the government, about literally everything.

We live a comfortable life. Sure, we're limited by a lot of laws and fines, but isn't that what keeps us asleep without a worry at night? We don't have to constantly worry about robbers and burglars, about getting mugged when you go back home at 3AM in the morning. Save for a few flash floods due to unforeseen monsoon rains, we're practically natural-disaster-free. We don't have to worry about a corrupted police force, about our homes collapsing in the middle of the night, about sinkholes that will make a neighbourhood disappear (read: Guatemala sinkhole).

We won the YOG bid despite being a tiny and young country, over other more well-established cities like Turin (Italy), Moscow (Russia) and Athens (Greece). This is the event that will put us on the global map, along with the F1 Night Racing. The first ever YOG and we're actually able to host it.

Yet, apparently majority of the Singaporeans can't really care less. In a CNN poll, 90% of Singaporeans are not interested in YOG at all. How sad is that? It may not be the real Olympics, but it's the closest we can get. By far, despite blowing the budget and stretching our resources, I think the SNOC is actually doing a damn good job running the Games.

Reading just some of the comments on that website makes me so exasperated. We have all these good qualities of life, we're one of the most developed countries in Southeast Asia, and in the top few in the whole of Asia, but our people are still not happy. Food poisoning, bad meals for volunteers are apparently enough to start a Facebook page just to hate on YOG.

I don't get it. What else do these people want? No event can be ran immaculately. Can they dare say they can do a better job? Well, I don't see them trying. I don't see them trying to making a difference to Singapore's future, I don't see them actually doing anything other than complaining on a website.

Maybe I'm saying all these as a brainwashed youngster, or maybe I can just appreciate all the policies for what they stand for. Some policies may rub people off the wrong way, but they are advantageous in the long run, are they not?

I wonder if people can sometimes step back and look at the bigger picture instead of complaining so much about each and every step the government makes. I'm pretty sure the government isn't acting just to twist your panties up and make your life a living hell. At the end of the day, isn't what the government doing just for the good of the nation? Since when did that become such a horrible thing?

Bound to Happen

2010-08-14T17:00:00.004+08:00

Funkydingadingadingalingawhooooosh

Okay, yes I am procrastinating from my revision. Who's surprised? C'mon now, don't look like you just swallowed a goat, you know it would happen.

I also just spent $6 on a pretty bigass storm trooper ring. What? Yeah.

In other news, the Youth Olympic Games begins today! I would run down somewhere to look at the cute athletes but I'm too busy procrastinating from my revision, obviously. Well I hope Singapore wins lots of stuff, because can you imagine losing really badly in your own territory? Yikes.

This random post was brought to you by Marshal of How I Met Your Mother, because I laughed at this so hard two months ago, and I still do now.

The End Times

2010-08-10T23:48:00.002+08:00

Future is fear when it's unknown, but joy when it's clear.
Some of you may have a clear picture of the future. The others may still be searching for it, or have somehow yet decided on it. Now, close your eyes and think about it; is your future joy or fear?

- Goong S, Episode 8

You know how everything is about retro, vintage and the 80's and their bad fashion (See Madonna's line for Macy's *shudder*)? Well maybe it's times to go back into the future, where things would be less about the bad fashion and bad decisions and more about changes for the better (or in the case of 2012 world catastrophe, just work-changing...change).

Recently, I've been giving a lot of thought about my future. Yes, yes, the present may be what matters, and we should live each day to the fullest, because life is short and you gotta grab life by the balls and you know, all that jazz people like to say when something goes wrong.

But what if life isn't short? What if life goes on and on and on? You've got to start thinking about where you want to be at least three years down the road. I can't imagine myself ten, twenty, thirty years down the road, but I sure would like to imagine where I'd be three years down.

After graduating from Ngee Ann Polytechnic, I don't think I want to pursue a degree in Singapore. I know the institutes in Singapore are of a high standard and it's really hard to get in and how pretigious it is, but honestly, the last thing I want to be is another typical Singaporean working 9-5 and hating themselves for not wanting to do more with their life.

I don't mean to be elitist, I really don't. I love Singapore for who she is, for all her accomplishments and her failures. I could have been thrown anywhere in the world but here I am, in one of the safest place this world can provide.

What I mean by not wanting to be a typical Singaporean is the regret I see every morning. This whole semester had me commuting to school before 9AM every morning. This is the period of time where the trains are filled to the brim (no joke, seriously) with office folks. Some of them just seem so tired and so...lifeless. So reluctant to head back to work, so tired of doing work they don't love everyday; it feels so unmotivated.

I know it's possible to feel tired no matter how much you love your job, but I also know there's a higher possibility of not being able to find a job you love, and not being to experience life for what it really is: adventure.

Ultimately, that's why I want to leave Singapore at some point. I live a very sheltered life in Singapore, where every day is peaceful, every day is the same, and the most exciting thing that can happen is the National Day Parade or the weekend arriving. I need an adventure. I would return, of course, if not being able to appreciate Singapore even more.

Humans are made to push the limits, to not even have limits. The human mind is worthy of so much more, but at the same time it shuts itself in, in what we call a comfort zone. Nobody should stay in their comfort zones for too long. We get too comfortable, and we forget the amazing and breath-taking things that are available out there.

Anyway, I digress. So yes, I want to leave Singapore. Pursue my degree somewhere away from my very comfortable and yet mundane comfort zone.

I've been considering universities in Hong Kong since back in April when I was there with Dajie. I don't intend to continue logistics, definitely. Hong Kong because there's a possibility that my Dad may still be working there when I enroll into a university there. One of the universities I found is about a fifteen-minute bus ride away during good traffic conditions (I think, I can't remember if I fell asleep during that bus ride, hence making it feel like a really short trip).

In fact, this particular university offers a double degree in Marketing and Design. My two biggest interests, and a double degree! It's a great deal, for sure, but I can barely speak Cantonese and even if the lectures are taught in English, how am I to communicate with my future group mates?

So if not Hong Kong, then maybe Australia. Not only because my cousins are there; I might not even be in Perth. Honestly, I haven't looked at the University options there but it is the nearest English-speaking country, so that's the plan so far.

One thing for sure; I want to pursue Marketing. I have zero interest in Logistics or Supply Chain Management (as seen from all my relentless whining over the last year and more) and definitely don't want to waste my life doing something I don't have any interest in. Logistics is a lucrative line of work; every company needs you, but I just don't see myself directing shipment and shipment around the world.

In the more recent future, I'm wondering if I should pick up two languages next semester, after I'm back from China. I will continue French, that's for sure (all for that certificate, hur hur), and the other language, probably an Asian language. ...Korean, maybe?

There might be globalisation and all, but chances are, I might still stay in Asia my whole life and might not even get to use French as a language. Since I already know how to read and write Korean at the very least, so even if I take it up next semester, it shouldn't be too hard on me, right?

It'd be physically taxing for sure, but since it's just evening classes, I'm hoping I can cope. Nothing's written in stone yet, though. For now, I just really don't want to waste time. I doubt I'd have the time or energy when I'm in university, let alone when I actually graduate and start working. Plus I have the spare time to take up a new language now, and while my brain still works, why not?

Sometimes I guess I think too much; shouldn't it be better to live day by day and appreciate today for what it is? Yes, but then again, what is today but yesterday's tomorrow?

Jiali's next six months:

August - YOG, study weeks, Basic Theory Practice and Evaluation
September - Exams, Basic Theory Test, Wuhan
October - Wuhan, Exam, Sem 2 begins, Book Final Theory Test and Driving Practical Lessons
November - School, Driving
December - School, Driving (?), Term Break, Christmas!
January - School, Driving Test (?)

Welcome to Mystery

2010-08-08T23:57:00.003+08:00

I'm not a great big fan of opera (not Oprah) and singing ladies who make my hair stand, but I thought I'd share these just because they look so magnificent.

Images from here.

I don't really know where these opera theatres are located at; the photographer's website doesn't say, but man I would pay just to go in and look at the theatre.

Ah, the semester has finally ended. It's been a hard time the last few weeks, but what matters is that we've all pulled through and we survived! On to greater things ahead, then! On y va!

Many the Miles

2010-08-05T00:30:00.003+08:00

Bow down to me, I just finished a 3,000-word report on Distribution and Transportation in under 3 hours!

Granted, I still had to had it up 13 mins past the deadline at midnight, but seriously, this project was supposed to be spread out over the semester. Why was I doing it so last minute, then?

Well let's just say one of the most important things to do once you step into Polytechnic life is to choose your project partners wisely. Very, very wisely.

I would like to confront this person, I really would. I still have this slight fear of confrontation (I always think I'd end up getting my hair pulled or slapped or just get embroiled into a catfight with guys whooping in the sidelines), but I really would want to call for an intervention. I want to tell her she's crashing and burning, because of whatever choice she decided to take with her personal life. I don't care if it doesn't affect her schoolwork, but it is and she's causing us to crash and burn along with her, and I'm not exactly a fan of burns.

She will probably never know of the times I had to do four-hour nights and the panick-attacks I get thirty minutes before the presentation is due because of her last minute work, but it's really taken a toll on me. Sometimes I'm willing to sacrifice, like with this report. Other times I want to shove her and tell her to get her damned head in the game cos she's literally taking years off my life.

But at the end of the day, we're all classmates, all victims of the dreadful education system and at the very very very end of the day, we only have two days until this semester is over and I won't have to have anything to do with her anymore.

I've more or less settled all my projects due, and I have two more presentations to go. Boy, I've never been more willing to move on from a semester.

Before you find your classes, navigate yourself around the blocks, buy your textbooks, find your friends, fall asleep in lectures, the first thing you must do is to determine your project partners. Sometimes it's best to not pick your friends, other times, you're lucky you have your friend there when you're falling apart and just in plain panic mode.

Fortunately enough I'm the latter. I have Dee to slam the Normal mode button back in me whenever I'm panicking over deadlines and the sheer amount of work. Thanks bb, I owe you so much.

A BPE test tomorrow that is 10% of my grade and I legitimately haven't been paying attention to lectures all semester nor have I studied because of the damned report. Life is good, folks!

Won't Even Start

2010-07-27T21:28:00.002+08:00

Hello, y'all! I'm still very much alive, just incredibly tired and overwhelmed by the sheer amount of work to get around to blogging insightful and slightly crazy thoughts.

Remember how I wish I had more time, not to sleep or eat or watch Inception a thousand times over, but to do things that would be meaningful and interesting? Yes well, turns out reality really is a bitch and you can't catch a break that easily, until you actually, you know, break.

I will be leaving for Wuhan in 49 days, and I'm excited and scared and nervous all rolled into one. Like a sushi, but not quite.

I have so many things to do before then, so many things to do there, and so many other things to do after I come back.

When I'm there, I'm supposed to keep this blog of my everyday adventures. It will actually be grading. A blog, being graded? That's not the worst part; I actually have to include NE messages.

Relate my everyday life there to NE messages. To get a higher grade. I even have to keep to a "guideline" when it comes to my layout, and post a minimum of two photos every day. I don't think it's the best way to actually grade students or blog, even, but what do I know, I'm just a mere student, right?

Not really. I am a student, and as a student, I can understand and gauge what other students would like. You can't ask a bunch of lecturers to sit around a table and decided what students like, because they don't know us.

I'm writing this Wuhan blog for future interested students to refer to so that they can see for themselves how the OIP would be like. No student would want to read about how our experiences in China relate to NE messages.

They want to know what are the cool things we do there, how it is like dealing with room mates, how the courses are like, how the dorms look like, and how the university there looks like. I mean, that's what I'd like to know from reading the blogs of the previous batch, but believe it or not, there's no such information in there.

Blogging is a platform to record and share your thoughts in a liberal way, and there shouldn't be guidelines and rules about how to keep one, unless these guidelines are actually laws of a country.

Seriously, if you want to implement guidelines on a blog, I would suggest simply asking us to share our thoughts in MeL.

But you know, opinions are ignored and life goes on. In fact, I actually have to run along now and study for a French test tomorrow.

Meanwhile, spread the love. Bisous!

Stupid Cupid

2010-07-06T01:19:00.003+08:00

Man, don't you hate it when your friends find their significant other, and suddenly they just drop off the radar? They go M.I.A, AWOL, and all the other fancy little acronyms out there that are codes for missing people.

I don't get it, is it so hard to return a call? Are you so smitten with your partner that you can't see your phone ringing?

Maybe it's because I haven't been in a relationship before, and I don't understand how hard it is to balance everything. I might have to eat my words some day, but damn I hope I don't end up doing the same thing. Being on the receiving end of this for so many bloody years and having fallen out of some peoples' lives, I really damn hope I don't.

You've got a friend in me.

2010-07-03T03:02:00.005+08:00

I might be about a week or two late, but I went to watch Toy Story 3 today! I can't say I grew up with the franchise, because I was 3 when it first came out, and I can barely remember the first movie.

(Possible spoilers, by the way)
Anyway, I won't believe you if you say you didn't cry watching this. It may be a Disney Pixar film, and I might feel a little lame for crying at a Disney Pixar film, but there you go. The ending to Toy Story 3 had so much emotion in it, I believe it made everyone cry.

I mean, when Andy was describing all of them, playing with them for that one last time, which was what they wanted all these years, I was literally TT___TT without even knowing why. And then that last look he cast at his toys, Woody, and driving away to college...

.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.

TT___________TT

Man I miss all my own childhood toys.

So no, I don't care what you think: Toy Story 3 probably has the best ending to a series, ever.
E v e r. Even more than Shrek, because Shrek 4 was pretty horrid in my book.

Oh, and thanks, V.bear, for watching it with me and having to wait like an hour for me! ♥

Who's to say

2010-06-30T21:56:00.002+08:00

WHAT UP BITCHES I GOT A 55/60 FOR MY FRENCH TEST.

I would celebrate this precious piece of news with capital letters on Facebook instead, but I have some classmates from French class and I have to keep my street cred.

So here I am, WITH A 55/60 OH YEAAAAAH.

Anyway, I've been so tired the last three nights, I concussed the moment I got on the bus and declared to Yibing that I wanted to sleep. When I woke up, she was laughing at my terrific headbanging performance. Apparently, even when I'm sleeping, I'm hardcore. Do feel free to bow and salute me when you pass me now, hohohohoho.

Oh jeez I'm tired.

What's the big idea?

2010-06-28T02:04:00.004+08:00

No such thing as too cool for school! We're all just cool kids heading back to school. I believe it's great that we at least have an aim in life (to graduate from this murderous place).

Today marked the end of a 2.5-week-long term break, and it's back to slouching in front of my laptop to actually be productive instead. It's horrific, but I think I'd survive.

The following are the things I had promised myself to do during these 2.5 weeks:

1. Jog in the evenings. Throw aside all jiggling insecurities and just bloody jog.
2. Update this space because a slightly emotional post after drinking a whole night should not be what people should see every time they try to check my blog for updates. (Well this post counts, I guess)
3. Learn some Korean Grammar.
4. Finish all my upcoming projects.
5. Complete French holiday homework.
6. Organise folders on my computer.
7. Book driving lessons. (DONE, HUZZAH)
8. New blog layout!
9. Tidy table.
10. Sleep early.

10 things, and only...one and a half done. Well at least that counts for something. Don't get your hopes up, thinking that I'd be able to share driving stories soon, though, because I only get to take my Basic Theory Test (BTT) on 4 September, which is a week before I leave for Wuhan, China for my Immersion Programme. It's not even guaranteed I'd pass. In fact, I'm having my theory lessons, practice and evaluation so early, I don't think I would remember everything in time for my BTT.

I have great time management. It's true. Like how I have to wake up at 5.40AM later for class and I'm...still wide awake here.

Don't you ever

2010-06-10T01:15:00.003+08:00

Oh, what a night.

Today was a day of disappointments. The class outing didn't go as planned, although it was still time well-spent. I'd leave the details for another day when I don't have a belly full of Chivas.

Anyway, I found out five minutes ago that my story didn't make the cut for NP Tribune. According to the Editor (I suppose I should trust her words), it wasn't because my story was good enough, it was because they had too many stories. I should feel relieved, right? They assured me that another girl and I were one of the two best writers and chosen to write for the NP Tribune 1, and both our papers were taken away due to lack of space on the paper.

But I don't know how to feel about this other than disappointment. I know it wasn't about my ability, yet I was so looking forward to the publication. :/ Oh, my insecurities that are tied to people's acceptance.

I know people in the world have more problems than I do, far, far worse. I don't want anyone's pity or pats on the shoulder; I guess all I want is to sit at home and wallow in misery again.

Tonight, I met new people I never thought I knew, I lost some friends that I thought I knew, and most of all, I found the missing friendship I had all this while in this phase of my life.

Cheers to the school holidays, everyone. Good night.

We Are Golden

2010-06-06T19:39:00.002+08:00

Think where man's glory most begins and ends

And say my glory was I had such friends.
- William Butler Yeats

Man, I missed hanging out with Luthfi and Furqan.

Shattered Glass

2010-05-24T01:45:00.003+08:00

Just a video to share because I love Mika Nakashima and I love this guitar prodigy. He's barely 14 and he's awesome with the guitar (watch his other videos; no tabs and no sheets!) ! Also because it's a nice tune to listen to while being miserable over a really, really, really bad haircut. ):

Caught by the river

2010-05-17T19:50:00.005+08:00

Don't you wish you had more time?

Not more time to play, but more time to think. To take a stroll, to walk slower on your way to school so that you can enjoy the morning sun, the fresh air (which is rare nowadays, with the extreme amount of cars around), to talk to a good friend?

Personally, I wish I had more time to commit to designing. For my I&E project, my group decided we'd help other groups do up posters and advertisements (I've seen some around the campus and Merlin's beard do they need some help). A few days back, I went to the library and borrowed some graphic designing books because I'm way too much of a cheapskate to buy one.

Anyway, I spent Friday night looking through the books. I might have missed some good ones somewhere (seeing how I was sober but still trying to go through them after a night of drinking) but yet again I feel like I haven't been trying hard enough.

I look at all these designs and wish I could produce something as good, or even better, but I can't. I wish I had enough time to learn design theories instead of groping around in the dark on my own, but I have my hands full with school, French classes, CCA and soon, IS Ambassador events, NPTribune articles and the Wuhan trip. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind being busy. I might not get to have time to have a social life and meet my beloved friends as much as I would, but I'm glad to be given chances to excel and to make something out of my Polytechnic life. I've already started late, what with being a sophomore and all.

I've somewhat half-accomplished my dream of journalism, but I still have a long way to go to fulfill my love for designing. Dajie can look at a piece of work and tell right away that I was the one who designed it. I don't like that. A design should look different every time, because different subjects require different perspective. If your designs looked so much alike that someone else could tell right away that it was yours, I don't know if that's a good thing at all.

Take Andy Warhol, sure, he was the King of Popart; the one sir who did them all, but all his paintings had little variation. Sure, you could call it style. But when you repeat your "style" all over again across so many paintings, doesn't it mean that you're stagnant as a designer?

Just my two cents, but I digress. Point is, I wish I had a little more time to take my designing skills to a new level. Like using Adobe Illustrator instead of Adobe Photoshop. Or getting a tablet (Yes, Fah, I know you have a tablet). In fact, I think that's where I will get started; saving money for a tablet! Then again, I'm afraid I won't have any chances to use it even after I get it. :/ Decisions.

Jeez, I wish I was wiser back in Secondary school when I had more time to do what I wanted. El stupido, si.

Cancer has affected so many people in my life. It took away my 爷爷 like a silent serial killer, sent my Aunt into a bout of trauma, and stole my distant aunts, my aunt's mother, and will continue to terrorise the world, claiming more lives as the years pass by. Until the scientists find a solid cure for cancer, every time I hear of cancer, I imagine the worse. Sure it's dramatic and probably better if you stay optimistic, but cancer is unpredictable as it is evil. I'm positive of this since my 爷爷 died the day after we all found out he had terminal cancer.

Recently, I found out one of my teachers in Secondary school has cancer. I wasn't especially close to this teacher, nor especially fond, but I liked the way he taught us. I was only in his class for a year, back in Secondary 3 when he taught me Mandarin. I think everyone here knows how I am with Mandarin, so you can imagine my reaction when he praised me for my essay. I shared the praise with other classmates in that class, but it felt nice to be recognised for my effort, because it was an 500-word Mandarin say, mind you.

I remember I used to whine and disliked being in his class, because I thought his standards were too high. He wanted us to write 500-word essays every week, since he expected us to be able to write 800-word essays by the time we turned Secondary 4. I thought he was mad, of course. 500 words was a torture and at some points I was probably just rambling incoherently in Mandarin, but 800 words?! Impossible. Anyway, the limit for exam essays were only 300 words, so why the need to waste my effort in writing 500-word essays?

Plus instead of going through the textbook passages like a normal teacher, he would make us do extra research on the topic. One of them was some passage about China's history, and he made us do research on that. Just teaching us the vocabulary was enough to kill us, let alone wasting time to research even more on the topic. Again, total madness, I thought.

It wasn't until much later that I realised how awesome his teaching was. His lessons didn't aim to prepare us for our exams; they aimed to prepare us for the real world. 300-word essays in the real world meant baby talk. If the exam question asked for 300 words, you give them 500 or even 800, because that's the kind of content that would give an impact and make a statement.

The research work gave us more knowledge about Mandarin as a whole. I remember he spent one whole lesson teaching some characters of the Oracle bone script. It was boring then, and absolutely irrelevant, but he was probably trying to help us gain more interest in Mandarin(or that he hated the lame textbook passages).

I don't think he's a total saint though; if I don't remember wrongly, he's made some pretty whacked assumptions about our class, and pissed Nam off at some point. But still, I can't doubt that he was a pretty good teacher, and like Mdm Rafilah, I appreciate his effort for trying to teach us from a different perspective.

Plus, every time he came into the 4C classroom, he annoyed Alvin by insisting on calling him by his Chinese name. I like annoying Alvin so that's pretty darn awesome.

This is gonna turn into a Teachers Appreciation post soon, so I'm going to stop gushing. So I heard he has cancer, and I don't know much details but it's pretty much been confirmed. I don't know if it's terminal, or where, but I know for sure cancer is scary, nay, terrifying. Whatever happens, I sure hope Mr. Goh pulls through. I'm sure future students would appreciate him as their teacher more than I did.

This is the only photo I have with him, and this was when JVS held that last gathering at the old premises. I usually hate taking photos with teachers because everyone looks awkward as hell and the conversations that follow are even more awkward, so it explains that face I have on. And we're not even in focus! Click on it; up close, you can see the background is focused instead. %$#@ Still, I'm glad I have at least this photo.

Oh, and if you happen to be a JVSian Alumni reading this, tell me if you'd like to go back and pay him a visit. We can laugh at the horrible holding school again, too.

Death ends a life, not a relationship.
- Tuesdays With Morrie

(Man I cried like a baby reading this book, especially after Wesley's death. :/ Didn't help that the book belonged to him, either )

Spread the love, every one. The world needs a little more love everywhere.

P.s: I made it through the interview and got accepted as an IS Ambassador. I will mostly be doing events, I think.
P.p.s: The NpTribune Editor just asked me for my byline. Guess who's excited?

Start from Zero

2010-05-08T13:00:00.003+08:00

I love the weekend. Not because I don't have school (that's just a bonus), though.

I love the weekend because I get to sit here and enjoy the tranquility of the afternoon. No bratty little Primary school kids shouting at their maids and vice versa, no loud rumbling from the school buses, no funky Chinese music playing from the basketball court for the Chinese ladies practicing their Chinese fan dance.

Nope, weekend in my neighbourhood is serene. There's the occasional piano playing upstairs or in the next block, but that just adds on to the serenity. The sun may be beating down on this tiny neighbourhood but there's a slight breeze in the air, blowing through the flat.

It's warm and the weather may be a bitch, but we have blue skies and the sporadic passing cloud, and that's all that it takes to make a day beautiful.

I don't care if I have a buttload of essays, reports and tutorials to do; I'm glad to feel, to enjoy, and to see such small things that can make you feel so...alive.

Buildings and Mountains

2010-05-06T17:40:00.002+08:00

Thanks, everyone, for making me feel loved and encouraged when I was so upset. Except it seems I was cup-half-empty a tad too soon, because they just emailed me today.

I'm told to write an article for npTribune instead of The Urban Wire like I wanted, but I'm still really, really excited. At least I'm getting started! I have to scrape up some information (interviews and what not) to throw into my article though, which is something I haven't done before, but it's time for me to find my guts and step out of my comfort zone. Hopefully the Editor would be lenient with my work.

Also, I've been apparently officially chosen for the OIP in Wuhan, China, like I hoped. Problem is, as of now, I have no idea if Diyanah, Soniyah or Aini or anyone I know for that matter will be able to go. Not the best idea to trudge all the way out there on my own and risk being annoyed the hell out of me by an annoying room mate. Still, I'm going there to learn to be independent, and having a friend there with me will totally defeat the purpose, right? Ah, decisions, decisions.

Lastly, I might actually sign up to be an IS Allied Ambassador. It's not as prestigious as NP Ambassadors, but I'm convinced to think that it's quite awesome and I would love to join. The sign up sheet might look a little lame, but it actually shows that it's not as formal and straight-laced as the NP Ambassadors. Thing is, I have no idea what they do, which means I basically have no reason as to why I would like to join them. Plus, they'd do an interview if I'm shortlisted, yikes.

I suppose the keyword here is to try. I won't know nuts if I didn't try. I wouldn't have gotten that article to do for Trimedia if Diyanah didn't continuously egg me on to submit the article. Test new waters, edge out of the comfort zone, cross boundaries, and all that jazz, I suppose.

So I'm actually here to say, things are looking up, and I'm thankful for it. Life is a well-maintained balance, and I will always believe that.

You have times when you're feeling down, and then you have times where everything looks like the Sun left a buttload of golden sunshine on it. You have deaths in the family, but with what they've left behind, you learn and gain so much more.

Once again, thanks for believing me, everyone, no matter what, I know I can count on you all. I'm out!

Sweet Misery

2010-04-25T23:49:00.002+08:00

I'm trying hard not to be affected over this rejection from NP Trimedia Publications, but I'm still upset. And disappointed. And rejected. I really felt like I had a shot with writing for them, because I thought my article was pretty alright. Probably there was much more that I had to improve on, but I was hoping practice from writing for them will help me improve.

For now I can only comfort myself with the fact maybe they rejected me because I'm an engineering student. Even then, it's only an assumption, and for all I know maybe my article was really not up to par, as compared to all the others they received. And as of now, I will never know.

So how does it feel like to be rejected for everything I've tried out for in Ngee Ann? Loathsome.

I know I can be so much more than just being an average unhappy engineering student now, but I can't seem to be appreciated like I thought I would. I've tried out for NP CIM's committee, for a Student Leader in MDE Society's Freshman Orientation Camp and then this. And by the way, it's incredibly saddening to be rejected as a Student Leader for the Freshman Orientation Camp after being a class leader for Student Council for three years in Secondary school. I have experience and still I got the helper role. They didn't even contact me about helping out either, so thanks a lot for that, MDE Society.

Well, this is a hellish feeling. I think I'd just go wallow in self-pity for awhile and then be back up well and fighting soon. Be right back.

Are you lost?

2010-04-24T00:11:00.004+08:00

This is a post, about the friends that I've lost from growing up.

Back in Primary 3, I was good friends with three guys. One of them, I still see around Ngee Ann Poly. We remember each other, say hello, and move on with our lives. I remember he lives around Lakeside, and just this hi-bye situation, is already the best case scenario.

The other friend, I saw him once, two years ago. We barely spoke, despite being really good friends when we were 9. Sure it's been long, but after all the laughs we shared back then, you'd think we'd have something to say to each other at the very least, but no.

The last one, was gone by the time Primary 4 came around. He was that guy who liked me, and I liked back, but because we were all 9 years old, liking someone was just simply absurd. We were supposed to be in the same class in Primary 4, but he was nowhere to be found on the first day of school. Only through teasing from his friends did I find out he'd transferred schools. I never thought about him after that, never tried to figure out what had became of him.

A few months ago, for the weirdest of reasons, I dreamt of him and decided to Facebook him. See, that's the thing with Facebook, you can find people from your past. Turns out, he became a swimmer, participating in Asean Cups and all that jazz. Apparently the school he transferred to was ACS Primary, and right now he's in ACJC.

It's saddening how much we've all drifted apart, because these three guys were the reason why I had so much fun in Primary 3. Sure they were immature and made fun of my rather unfortunate surname, but as far as I remember, they didn't have very flattering surnames themselves. One of theirs was British slang for toilet, no joke.

I used to take the school bus to school in Primary school, because I was too much of a coward to take the public bus to school without my mum. I don't regret it, though, because I made some pretty awesome friends on that bus.

Friends like Olivia, who was one of the few people who shared a passion for reading like me. She used to have birthday parties every year and would invite me. I was convinced we would stay friends even after Primary school, but alas, she moved to Eunos before Primary 6 even came around, and she left to attend Geylang Methodist Girls' School instead. I recently heard from her again when she found me on Facebook, and still she invited me to her birthday party. It's nice to know some things never change.

I met Rachel from the school bus too. She lived in the next block and we often had these silly cycling adventures around the Art Park behind our blocks. We would spend afternoons looking for millipedes and putting them in bottles for fun. For the weirdest reason, I didn't find this as freaky when I was eight. Her dad loved Science, and I remember one time when he took us to where the temporary bus interchange is right now. Except back in 2001, it was just a large green field with weeds and grass that needed a lot of trimming. We hunted for frogs there that afternoon, and it wasn't a very pleasant experience. We went after a storm and after sloshing around in that marsh-like field, no frogs we found. Bummer.

More or less, I still keep in touch with the people in Secondary School (unless I actually don't want to). All, except one.

I see him around school now, and I don't even feel compelled to say hello. I feel like he's changed so much, that he's not the person I knew from when we met in Sec 1. He probably didn't treat me as too good a friend even when we were bus buddies, and I never got to tell him this, but he was one of my best friends anyway. During one of the camps, we had this Angel and Mortal system in order to encourage each other. We were supposed to remain anonymity, but some of us blabbed about our mortals anyway. I tried to needle it out of him, but he refused to tell me who his mortal was.

I only knew at the end of the camp that his mortal was actually me, and I think I even still have his note with his horrid handwriting on it. Something along the lines of "Jiali, don't keep want the goose". I remember automatically chiding my Angel for the horrid English, but I laughed so hard when I found out it was him. So typical of him to bring the laughs to the table. This was the guy who did a solo concert to Lips of an Angel by Hinder tonelessly on the bus to school at 7 AM. This was the guy who would make me end up sitting alone at the front of the Mother Tongue class because he kept talking to me when I sat next to him. This was the guy that would do stupid things just to get us to laugh at him.

Now we don't talk, don't acknowledge one another, and I'm hearing stuff about him second- or even third-hand. I don't know if he's changed for the better, or for the worse, but if he's happy, then I wish him well.

I suppose I should mention a little about Hong Kong and school. I came back from Hong Kong a week ago, and it was awesome, as usual. It was 15°C - 17°C when we were there, and it even drizzled. Dad specially took a day off work and took us to Shen Zhen too, which was nice, but there wasn't really much to shop for there.

First week of school began too, and it's been tiring beyond reason. I'm still trying to get used to it, but let's just say I'm awfully thankful for the random breaks we have in between some classes.

I also took opportunity to join some CCAs to up my CCA points, and ended up joining the Leo club, which is event-based and mostly deals with community service. I don't mind, I actually like community service. And event-based CCAs is something I can definitely work with, yep. I joined the Korean Club too, since my French classes are on Wednesdays now, leaving my Monday nights free.

I tried to sign up as a writer for NP Trimedia Publications too, which is in charge of the NP Tribune, Hype magazine and The Urban Wire. They needed us to write an essay and send it in, and I fretted and panicked over it before finally writing something on fashion blogs and submitting it today.

I gave it my best and I really wanted to get this writing position. I've always liked Journalism, and to be honest, I've never really given up on that idea. Yet from the email they sent me 41 minutes ago, it seems like I am, once again, rejected.

"When we need writers, we'll contact you. So look out for our emails!"

:/

Guess I'd never find something that will accept me in NP, sigh.

Stripes and a fork

2010-04-12T02:28:00.002+08:00

It's 2.28 now, and we have about an hour more to leaving this Starbucks of sleeping people (Dajie included) and this annoying girl who is talking pretty loudly at the next table and head for the Budget Terminal.

We had a few hiccups along the way, including my fever of 38.35°C and Dajie's iPhone dying after a drop, but here hopefully we get to Hong Kong fine anyway. It's been a long day, I might conk out on the plane, I might not, I don't really know. Sometimes my body reacts strongly to caffeine, sometimes it ignores it. Right now I just hope it reacts strongly, and I mean really strongly, to the paracetamol I had two hours ago.

Also, I now regret not bringing along something to read, but at least I have my laptop and some Glee OST to block out that girl who really won't stop talking.

Hong Kong is just a few hours away, and god may our journey be smooth.

They call it Hong Kong

2010-04-11T00:44:00.002+08:00

Hey, kids! I'm heading over to Hong Kong in a few hours! Well technically there's still one more day to go, but since I'm packing my laptop over there too, I might as well post first.

It's my first trip to somewhere without the whole family; this time it's just my Dajie and I. Undoubtedly, my dad is on tenterhooks since he's afraid of me getting lost, us getting lost, and stuff like that. I can see why, though, but I'm psyched anyway. I haven't been overseas in awhile, and even the thought of everyday-8am-classes starting two days after my return can't bring me down (not until 18 April, anyway).

Now if only this splitting headache would go away...

There's only one Titan.

2010-04-04T22:31:00.005+08:00

Before I say anything else, I want to show everyone how kooky my friend Dee is. She apparently fell on her butt and decided to draw it out, just so that I could understand how she fell on her butt.

You be the judge, man. That word totally says "groin", not "chair".

I miss you, chica! You make school life bearable for me with your ridiculous nonsense.

My dearest Adila couldn't think of what to get me for my birthday, so I made her get me a new computer mouse. My last one got drowned after my water bottle leaked and it basically just went spastic. This mouse, however, is awesome. Comes in different colours, too. No idea why I got the blue, but I did. 8D

Also, yes, Yixin! I got your letter and the polaroids! Thanks, love! We don't want to stick them around somewhere though! Wear and tear + dust = bad.

This badge is from Universal Studios! Haven't went there yet, though, but Dajie bought it for me. We apparently like to make jokes referencing our zodiacs so...this is it. At least now I don't have to dig for a brooch to wear on my black jacket; thanks bb!

I just came back from the movies' with the usual bunch of guys. We watched Clash of the Titans at Hongwei's request and now I just hate this movie. I've always been a tad bit interested in Greek mythology, the same way how I'm interested in Chinese mythology and all the languages I'm aiming to learn. Basically, it's awesome to be well-read.

So anyway, back to the horrible movie. (Spoilers, by the way, but really the movie isn't worth your money) Okay, I don't remember much from Greek mythology but really, that's how you supposedly get rid of Hades? When the movie ended, I was just all "That's it...?". I was thinking along the lines of shitloads of epic battles between the Gods and Men but...no? Just throw out the good ol' Medusa head (poor girl, I would feel so damned used) and that's it? Oh, and the Kraken appears for roughly...five minutes. Also, there was really only one Titan and that was the Kraken, right? So which other Titan was the "clash" supposed to happen with; Perseus?

I suppose I did enjoy the graphics, but I can't help feeling that the water spilling off the Kraken looks like spider webs instead.

Not that my verdict or opinion really matters, but man this movie was a total waste.

Speaking of opinions, I have to eat my words. About Glee. BKK found out I haven't tried watching it and demanded I take the first season from him and since I didn't have anything to do on Friday, I watched it.

Their voices are bloody damn awesome. I get goosebumps every time they sing and I really like their mash-ups. Especially this one:

To be quite honest, I'm not entirely in love with the storyline, since it seems like a more developed and extended version of High School Musical (which I dislike with a burning passion), but at least Glee has better vocals and the lead doesn't look like a grown-up Justin Bieber.

Oh and I like the funnies, yep.

One last thing; new blog layout! I've been so busy from January till now, I didn't even manage to change my layout for four months. Plus I think that Web Publishing module stole all my passion for doing layouts away. Such a travesty.

Something simple because I just wanted to change out of the一期一会 one. All of the words were written in my own hand by the way, which is actually why it looks rather horrid. Ah, well.

And that quote: "All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost." is from J.R.R Tolkien for Lord of the Rings, which I'm actually attempting to read now (and failing because I spend too much time on the laptop).

Goodnight now, blogosphere.

Someday soon

2010-04-01T23:09:00.002+08:00

I remember last year, on the morning before my grandfather's death, I woke up with this song playing in my earphones. To be honest, I first heard this song when it was played one Gossip Girl episode when Bart died in that car accident. I liked the glockenspiels playing at first, but the lyrics meant so much more.

I had this song stuck in my head since Leon called and woke up me this morning too, and the entire day after that. It's been a week since we all bade farewell.

Please, April. Please be nice to us all.

Hermosa

2010-04-01T03:06:00.003+08:00

So I'm scanning my laptop for viruses now because it lagged like a snail being held back like a turtle just now, and now I'm afraid of losing all my data. That's 17.1GB of music and 6.4GB of pictures, so losing my data is not something I would kid about.

Anyway, beats me why I couldn't do this later, because this scan is running really slowly, and I'm running out of things to do on the Internet. It is now 3AM, and I have to wake up at 11AM later.

In fact, I've been going out ever since last Monday, because of the wake and all, and this week to finish off the Graduation Magazine. That's right, you'd think we'd have finished by now, but apparently not. They (the lecturers) keep making us edit the smallest of details, like font size. Really, I'm quite sure the seniors looking at it will look at this book for the first time for about five minutes, then the second time about five years later. No one appreciates a graduation magazine or a yearbook that much, not even me.

I'm actually quite sure everyone hates it. Five years down the road, people are gonna scan in this magazine and tag the respective people on Facebook (or whatever medium we'd have flocked to by then), and laugh at each other. And then people will hate on the Magazine team (i.e. Ferly and I) for putting up bad photos of them on this magazine. But hey, I've been trying my best to put nice photos of everyone and avoid the embarrassing ones, because I've seen enough bad photos in JVS Yearbooks to know what defines a "bad photo". Trust me, in all of my JVS Yearbooks, there are many.

Yet I didn't drop out of the team because at least it's designing of some sort, even though Adobe InDesign is super shitty. I'm not building a portfolio, but at least it has nothing to do with logistics. Anything design-related, I'm interested, no matter how amateur I am. Plus, I may be blowing my own horn, but I've spent enough time over all these pages that no one will give two hoots for to believe that it looks at least better than the magazine from the previous year. Accomplishment? Yes, indeed.

Remember Earth Hour 2010? It was four days ago. I was at Yixin/Xinyue's place, and coincidentally, when I saw all the Earth-hour-related Facebook statuses, all the lights were switched on in the house. Anyway, that aside, I found this website, it shows some landmarks around the world during Earth Hour. I'm not sure why, but I find it quite fun comparing the before and after. See them here.

Honestly speaking, this is a rather pointless post. I'm really just looking to pass time while waiting for the scan. It is now 10% complete, and it took about more than half an hour for it to complete 1%.

This is taking forever.
Forever.
Forever.

Ever since Dajie's Battlestar Galactica ride at Universal Studios, Singapore broke down, Dajie's been having a lot of free time. Free time, meaning they're actually allowing her to take some days off.

Previously our hopes of going to Hong Kong were dashed (like, literally dashed; we were so desperate be somewhere that is not Singapore), because USS just opened and she couldn't take her off-days until late April, and by then school would have started for me.

But now, ho ho ho, now, we're definitely heading to Hong Kong.

We booked cheapo flights from Tiger Airways; no in-flight entertainment, no toilets, no food and drinks (might as well rob a bank instead, really), but at least we're heading to Hong Kong! We've done about three happy dances since she got back home, I think.

We're going alone this time too, but apparently Dad is postponing his trip to Shanghai so he could be with us while we're there. Probably more afraid we'd end up raiding and messing up his apartment.

REGARDLESS, ELEVEN MORE DAYS!

Can't bloody wait! ♥

...12%

Alright, I'm just going to leave my laptop running for the whole night. Hopefully it'd lose some weight by then, gain some muscles and all. Boy, it's been a long day, but that sunset on the bus back home was worth it.

See the world

2010-03-31T10:09:00.002+08:00

Upside: Same IS class as Dee, early releases on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays.

Downside: I forgot that I have French evening classes on Wednesdays, and signed up for a morning class from 8am-12pm. I have six hours to spend in school doing almost absolutely nothing. Time for the school to install sleep boxes. Also, two 8am mornings together = zero attention span in class.

I'm going back to sleep now because...well, because. Bye.

Let It Be

2010-03-25T23:58:00.006+08:00

I thought I wouldn't be this upset, because I didn't know him well. But now I'm being this upset, for that very reason. I didn't bother trying to get to know him better because we grew up, and I just got insecure, him being so much smarter, and me being, well, me.

I know everyone says not to have regrets, but I regret so, so much for not knowing him better. Approaching him no matter how awkward it was, no matter my own insecurities. At this point of time, those insecurities feel so incredibly stupid and insignificant as compared to whatever that has happened.

Today, we cremated him and said our goodbyes. He was barely 18 years old, and he could have been so much more, but now it's all became ashes and dust and all there is to remember him by are the memories from our childhood.

Yet all these childhood moments, I can't even remember them. Dajie said we used to play a lot as children, but as we grew up we all just stopped spending time together and we drifted apart.

If I dug around for a memory of him, I can only remember standing in JP2's Minitoons, last year, I think; it was the first time Wesley and Melissa joined us for a cousin outing. I had pointed to a stuffed toy-bear and mentioned to Dajie how much it looked like Pedobear. He overheard and he asked "How do you know about Pedobear?!", with this suspicious look. I remember asking him back with the same suspicious look mixed with amusement, "How do you know about Pedobear?"

We left it at that, I think. I can't even remember if he ever replied me, but this conversation that lasted barely five seconds is all that I can remember of him.

On the first night, when we were leaving Uncle Philip's place, I was greeting Auntie Vivian goodnight, and she asked me how old I was. It always irked me that she couldn't remember how old I was, even thought I was the same age as Wesley, but what she said next washed everything away.

"Oh, you're the same age as Wesley. Please, please live well."

Goodbye cousin, I hope you're now free of whatever suffering you had. You'd always be remembered, and your passing has taught us a valuable lesson, no matter how painful. Because of you, I've learnt to treasure and cherish family; immediate or not, even more, and to show it even if it's awkward.

Cousins and sisters, if you're reading this, no matter what happens, no matter what I say, I love you all.

Time is running out

2010-03-24T00:14:00.007+08:00

Many a time, at someone's passing, we would ask ourselves if we could have made any difference to delay this passing, to have made things a little better, to have changed the person's life.

If only we had talked to him more, if only we tried a little harder, if only something else happened on that day that might have stopped him, if only he never gained that courage to do what he did...

Yet we can only hope, and pray that when we wake up the next day, it would all be a bad dream.

It still feels so surreal, standing around in that wake. While I'm there watching all his other relatives cry their hearts out, I can't. I was in the car with BKK driving my mum and I back and we were talking about everything, how we might have prevented all that had happened, and before I knew it, I was holding my tears back. Mum squeezed my hand and I just cried. Thank god the truck was dark and I'm well-learned in the art of concealing one's tears.

The last time I saw him was in November, when Xinyue came back from Australia and we were having a family gathering at Uncle P's place. I...don't think I spoke to him at all on that day. In my head, I always knew there was something going on with him and I always just relied on my mother to update me about him. In my own naïve little world, I always thought things would work out fine for him, and he'd be able to emerge out of all the problems he had and find himself.

Now I keep thinking about the last few minutes of his life, but all I have is a short article in 新明日报. As far as we know, the details might not even be accurate. But then again, what is the point now, really? Knowing will not make me feel any better, knowing will not change or right anything. He's gone, but not to Tasmania, or to retreat into his room, or to anywhere else. He's just...gone.

Why am I feeling so heavy-hearted about this? I don't know; but I do know, as Lilo says, family means nobody gets left behind. Or forgotten.

Fragile Things

2010-03-22T19:11:00.003+08:00

The sun is setting. I don't know what to do, or say. I wish I could say I knew him and was close to him, but I wasn't. I never found a need to because I always thought being bonded by blood and DNA was enough, but it wasn't.

I regret to say I never thought of him much, because he's always just been there, lingering in the background. We are the same age, but I didn't speak to him too often, and I'm ashamed that I barely knew his birthday.

There's nothing anyone can say or do to make his family, or our family feel any closure, because everything just happened so fast. Like with my grandfathers, I can't get my mind to wrap around the fact that he's gone. Like my grandfathers, I'd probably always be in denial, that he's not gone; I just haven't seen him in awhile.

Rest in peace, Wesley.

Neverland and I

2010-03-20T23:45:00.018+08:00

Today wasn't anything special, but I spent it with the people who I hold dear. I had lunch with Glenda and Sincheong, and dinner with my mum and sisters at Marché.

I should probably backtrack a little to Thursday, 18 March. I met up with Ange, Huilin and Peilin to celebrate my birthday and catch up with one another. Honestly, I was skeptical of whether we would be at ease with each other since it's been, what, at least a year and a half since we hung out together.

I shouldn't have worried though, because when we got together, clichéd as it sounds, it was as if no time had passed, nothing had changed, and we were still the silly people from when we were fourteen and thought purikura was the best invention in the world.

The rain on that day was merciless, though. We literally had to brave through a storm and seek shelter under a bus stop, which was barely helpful. The huge puddle right in front of the bus stop and the heavy vehicles that kept coming along that road meant that most of that puddle ended up on us and a lot of vulgarities where thrown around.

Either way, after braving through the rain (which stopped right after we arrived at Marina Barrage, by the way), we settled down and finally started eating. All we had were tuna and condensed-milk sandwiches (made lovingly by Ange and Huilin), Hello Panda biscuits and potato chips (from Peilin) and some drinks, but I had an awesome time. We caught up and made fun of each other and took a shitload of photos after the rain officially stopped and the sun was setting.

Most of the photos are with Huilin, but I'd share what I have.

~Impending doom~

We hung out way longer than we should, and Ange and I ended up being totally late for Nam's surprise. In fact, the surprise was over by the time we got there. -__-

Nice creeper face, Guangyou.

Hongwei was...obviously quite tired.

I have no idea who this is, because Guangyou likes to abuse the zoom function on the camera.

So that was my 18 March.

I went all the way to Tiong Bahru Plaza to meet Glenda and Sincheong for lunch, and they were super late, apparently cos it was my "surprise" to have to wait for them. Later I found out they were actually just buying cake for me at Bakerzin. ;D

We were in Tiong Bahru of all places because Glenda wanted us to have Eighteen Chefs. Their restaurant has a pretty meaningful story, since their mission is "to inspire troubled youths and people with conviction backgrounds to find alternative positive ways to reintegrate back into the society". The head chef there is Benny Se Teo, who is an ex-drug addict, and is apparently the only Singaporean to ever been trained at Jamie Oliver's Fifteen London Kitchen.

Glenda was right, Eighteen Chefs' iced lemon tea is pretty awesome, but only because they basically put lemon slices in English Breakfast tea. My favourite tea? English Breakfast tea. ♥

Cutting the cake with a dessert spoon.

My friend whose only way to describe his whole ten-days in Tokyo is "It was fun.".

The cake toppled over while I was eating it. Nubcaek, literally.

She was taking photos of herself the whole time I was being jealous about Sincheong's Tokyo trip. ):

Met Mum at Outram Park's platform after they left for their respective dinner dates and headed to Vivocity. We had Marché for dinner! I haven't been there in ages; in fact since they were back in Orchard Road. Anyway, we didn't really eat that much; I think I only had Rösti, calamari, watermelon and lemonade juice and Mövenpick's Raspberry Sorbet for the night. I met about four other people who were celebrating their birthdays there too, and Dajie have taken it to calling me a "commoner" for having so many people share my birthday. -___-

HI, I LOVE RÖSTI. And this was Rösti with smoked salmon. :Q___

My ear studs that came in time for my birthday. Me like. ♥

A Charlie Chaplin flip book! I think this is from Peilin, I'm not sure cos they gave me the presents simultaneous. Anyway, the video below is the flip book being, well, flipped.

(Forgive my flipping skills. I didn't want to bend the book/destroy the spine too much)

O.P.I's My Private Jet this week!

The old bus ticket that came with Ange's present.

Thanks for the present, love! Probably going to use it as a doodle book.

This concludes this unnecessarily long post about my birthday. Thanks, everyone, for all the wishes, presents, and basically everything else. I'm 18 now, and hopefully I'd be slightly wiser, more assertive and less afraid of everything from confessing to someone I like to sitting for an interview at Universal Studios Singapore. Hopefully. Time to grow up!

Lions are...

2010-03-20T02:55:00.004+08:00

Well, I'm legal, but I'm pretty sure I haven't been illegal for seventeen years. That would be...pretty weird; to know that my very existence has been illegal for seventeen years.

Anyway, I'm finally 18 but I don't feel anymore special, or different. A few years back on this very day, I would be speed-walking to the bus interchange to catch Bus 187 and be on my merry way to school. At that point of time, I remember feeling so special because it was my birthday. I remember thinking to myself; if I had that green Sims diamond hovering above my head, it would be glowing white (like this). And the whole time I was walking to school, I was feeling all cheerful and bubbly inside and wondering how many people would remember it was my birthday.

Now I guess that green diamond has expired and I've realised, in a way, that's what birthdays truly boil down to: seeing how many people remember you and and your existence. Yet since last year, a birthday have felt like just another day, especially so now that Dad isn't back home for our birthday. Sure I'm legal now and I guess that's pretty awesome, drinking, clubbing, driving, smoking and all, but this feeling of indifference has planted its ugly rear in my head and is refusing to leave.

Seriously, how depressing am I on my own birthday? Also, such a contradiction to my birthday post a year ago. This is what one year has done to me: IT'S MADE ME EMOTIONLESS AND INDIFFERENT.

I got my results yesterday, too. I didn't manage to maintain my GPA, and in fact I allowed it to fall below a 3.0. I swore to myself that when I entered polytechnic life, I would maintain my GPA above a 3.0. Yet here I am, at the end of year one, with one GPA > 3.0.

I suppose Julia is right, though, it's the cumulative GPA that counts and mine is above a 3.0. I'm normally not one who gets all beaten up inside about bad results, but I still feel horrible for not keeping to this simple, simple promise I made myself.

In the afternoon, Hongwei convinced me to go down and play pool with the guys, and I decided to go despite my obvious fail at pool, only because I didn't want to wallow in sorrow in front of this laptop all day about my results.

So I went all the way to Bukit Timah Plaza, played one round, realised yet again how utterly terrible I was at pool, and benched myself for the rest of the time. It wasn't that the guys were being all competitive and stuff, god no (Alvin hit the cue ball out of the table at least twice). It was mostly me feeling downtrodden enough to avoid further emphasis on my lousy sports skills.

After laughing at the guys' shenanigans for awhile, we had dinner and headed home. I felt a lot better by then and was that close to letting this whole matter go, when I checked the mailbox to find my results slip mailed to me.

Ngee Ann sure knows how to get you down when you're all feeling shitty inside, eh?

So either way, excited about my birthday or not, Happy Birthday to me, I suppose.

Horoscope: "Keep an open mind about a wild idea you hear today."
Some one remember to throw a wild idea my way, I think I might need it.

Smells like adventure

2010-03-13T15:32:00.002+08:00

(Wuhan, Hubei, China. From here and here)

I'm heading to China! More specifically, Wuhan, in Hubei Province!

Well technically I just signed up, but chances are, I'd go ahead with it.

I live a life way too mundane and sheltered here in Singapore, and it's time I had an adventure of some sort. So going to Wuhan is for my academic school's Overseas Immersion Programme is perfect. I'd be spending 42 days there studying two modules, from 12 September to 23 October later this year. It's like summer school (except this is in autumn, heh), so I'd get exemption from two modules when I come back and start school in my second semester of Year 2.

The previous batches who went kept blogs about their trip and experience, and I've been going through them like the geek that I am, and it seems pretty okay! It apparently snowed while the current batch is there, but I probably won't be experiencing much snow during my time there. :/

The lecturer in charge of this trip just added me on MSN and we had this awkward conversation where he kept asking me about asking my classmates to go. Awkward as it was, he told me some helpful stuff and now I'm really more excited.

Time for this mountain turtle to leave the mountain, I say!

The only downside of this is that I won't be able to head to Hongkong during my next semester break with Dajie as planned. ): Well hopefully we can head there during term break instead. I miss Hongkong, damn.

I don't really care that of all places, it's just China. I mean, I used to mind that people from my course will never get to go on trips to exotic places, but as of now I'm pretty desperate to experience life outside Singapore. China may be China, but at least it'd be an experience.

Man, did I mention I'm excited? 8D

Almost Alice

2010-03-06T20:26:00.002+08:00

Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland! I watched it past midnight, in 3D with Dajie at Vivocity.

I LOVED IT.

I loved the white rabbit, the Chesire Cat (the Disney one always looked Mexican to me, seriously), the red army, the Mad Hatter's hat, and the usual actors who work with Tim Burton, I loved them all. The 3D experience wasn't really much though. It felt the same as it probably would if I were to watch it in 2D, except for when the Red Queen was throwing stuff. Eh.

And one more thing, I can't believe the Almost Alice OST. Avril Lavigne (she shouts a lot in the song), Metro Station (horse-faced-brother-of-Miley and friends), and Tokio Hotel? :/

I liked the one by Owl City and Motion City Soundtrack though. Every cloud has a silver lining, I suppose.

Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end: then stop.

Rush

2010-03-05T15:29:00.003+08:00

Remember how many times I've faltered and almost gave up French? I'm really glad I didn't. It got lonely at times, since I didn't have any friends in French class. But thank god Marvin and Jingwen decided to run off to watch a movie that one Monday evening, and Ruifen decided to sit next to me. Because of this, I now have three friends to spend French class with (provided I'm in the same class as them next semester).

It got really tiring too, since it's bad enough French class was on a Monday, with Monday blues and all. Plus it didn't help that Mr Ho always let us off early from ITL class, so instead of the actual one and a half hour wait, I had two and a half hours to wait by myself instead. I made good use of that time though, studying French non-stop. It really helped in class too.

So that brings me to the point of this post:

I passed my French EP 102!

Oh the joy it brings me.

If you know me, you should know I have zero interest in logistics management. Absolutely zero. So basically the only lessons I really look forward to in school is French class, and even IS classes, like CATS and S&W. I might be really pointless, but at least I know I can excel in these classes, regardless of their credit units. And I really do love these classes, even if the only reason for my love is because they have nothing to do with logistics.

No seriously, I'm really happy that I passed my French EP. At least that's one thing to feel relieved about before the rest of my results release like one day before my birthday.

Diamonds and Ice

2010-03-04T23:46:00.004+08:00

I often think things like music, fashion, and maybe even your taste in books is subjective. That is, if you like it, some one else might not; one man's meat is another man's poison and all that jazz. And when your friend can't accept it, be it music or fashion, you can't force it on them and make them start liking the same thing just to shut you up. If you don't understand your friend's tastes, don't go calling them "weird" either (the things I like/have are not weird! *defensive*).

Same goes for trend followers. In fashion, for example. If you don't look good in it, don't force it. If it doesn't suit your image, then let it go. Something else will fit you better. I'm not going to go into a whole lecture about what's in fashion now or not, because, like I said, one's perception of fashion is subjective and I'm not going to display everything I love and hate here (that'd be too long anyway). The one thing I would like to hate on, is leggings/tights (I'd just refer to them as leggings).

It's okay if you're a dancer, it's okay if you're doing Yoga in them, it's okay if you're wearing them underneath your jeans to keep yourself warm in winter, it's okay if you wear them under a short dress to keep from flashing yourself to the whole world.

It's not okay, however, when you wear leggings as pants. It's not okay that your cootch and half your ass is hanging out, enticing people to look at details that shouldn't even be displayed. It's vile, it's wrong, and it's just plain bad. JEANS AND SHORTS EXIST FOR A REASON, I'M JUST SAYING. If you're having a lazy day? Your shorts are there. Don't want to be too informal? Wear your jeans. How in the world are leggings not "informal" anyway?

For more information on my hate, read here.

Man I leggings. Oh and don't get me started on jeggings. Really, now, jeggings?

It's time to stand up for our sanity, good people. It's time we stop these people from raping our eyes and giving us waaaaaay too much information to even fit into the definition of "TMI" anymore.

I turn 18 fifteen days from now. I'm not really big on the idea of celebrating-it-like-mad-cos-you're-18, because well, you'd be 19 next year, and 20 the next and so on. Yeah, I'd be legal, so? That probably means I'd get sued for serious in court, not juvenile court, if I ever commit any crimes.

I don't drink much, I don't smoke, and I barely watch NC16 movies, let alone M18 ones. I'd get to start on my driving lessons and my dad can use my passport to buy liquor in DFS when we go for a family holiday, but that's pretty much it, being 18 years old.

Nonetheless, Dad won't be in town for our birthday, so I can actually spend the day not with the family. Now that I can, I have nothing in mind on where to go. Eh. I'm having a pre-birthday chalet with Nam though, cos she wants to celebrate her 18th with a bang. I probably will be there as a guest, not quite as the second birthday girl, I think.

Hmm okay I just came across something. Let's just say if you're hunting for a birthday present for me...

GET ANY OF THE FOLLOWING:

Look at how beautiful they are when they're tied up. Seriously, look at that cityscape one! Q_Q
I'm kidding about getting them for my birthday, of course. They cost $CAD449 each (Canadian currency), which converts to about SGD 609. And silk scarves in Singapore? I know, right? Sigh.
They're from here, by the way, with other prints.

But if for some miraculous reason you're really scratching your heads as to what to get me, I honestly don't have any preference. Just know this: I like cool things, I don't have a preference for colours either (got this from my Mum), I like whatever looks nice, I don't scoff at cheap presents (seriously).

Oh, and I do need to get myself a new laptop sleeve. But that's for me to buy myself. Seriously, my cheap one was from Popular (I was a nubcake and I didn't know where else to get a laptop sleeve) and one of the corners has a hole from when I dropped my laptop after Yibing shoved me. What took me so long to get a new one? Honestly, I have no idea. Someone please be kind enough to point me in the direction of nice laptop sleeves.

I tried to read The Sartorialist book the other night. I really did. But after prying open the book about 1 cm wide, I stopped and put it back on the shelf. WHEN WILL I EVER FINISH IT? ;__;

Hmm oh and I have to return my library books soon; I've been putting it off for days.

In the glass

2010-03-02T21:54:00.005+08:00

I'm back and better, bitches! Okay, not really. I'm not better, in fact, I'm still sick with on and off fever and the cough that is seriously refusing to leave my throat. :/

But you guys remember this list?

First and fourth task done, whoot!

I went to Ikea with Dajie and mum, and then headed over to Queensway Shopping Centre to look for mum's sandals and my shoes. 8D

Behold, my early Birthday present from Dajie!

Jeremy gave me HIMYM Season 5 on Friday, and by Sunday I was done with it. Now I'm itching for more, but it'd probably not going to be up anytime soon. NOOOO.

And I might as well strike off Number 3 too. ): Seems like I won't be able to fly off to Hong Kong this semester break since Dajie's schedule doesn't allow her to take leave during my holiday period. Gonna have to wait until September, bummer.

Seriously, why is the weather so warm. WHY. WHY

Through the roof and back

2010-02-22T22:01:00.004+08:00

I. Can't. Study.

But I finished a book; reading through the afternoon, giving myself the reason that it was too hot to study. Then evening came, and then night, and I'm still not studying. Since I stayed in that one position for about five hours straight, I now have an awful neck cramp. Another reason to not study? Of course not.

...Or is it?

ETA:

Things I will do after my bitchy Introduction to Logistics paper ends on Friday

1. Shoe shopping cos god forbid I stop wearing sandals to school. And no, I'm not talking about those butt-ugly NUM sandals everyone covets. I hate NUM.

2. Read. Namely The Satorialist book from Dajie and The Hungry Tide from Ange, both from last Christmas.

3. Fly away to Hong Kong. Have I mentioned how much I miss Hong Kong? I've been there about four times; can barely remember the area about my Dad's apartment, but it's like my second home. Plus it's like an escape from the shitty March/April weather in Singapore.

4. Watch Season 5 of How I Met Your Mother. Man I love that show.

5. Finish that bloody Graduation Yearbook as early as possible. I hate this project and I still can believe I signed up for it. I could have earned about $400 working in the Science Center but no, they need me to keep my March free. *Curses*

6. Teach myself another language. I'm not being pretentious, and it does slightly piss me off whenever my friends judge me for knowing multiple language, because I really love learning different languages. I would have started young, but I didn't (or couldn't). Now that I have the time, to hell with judgmental looks and comments.

Argh yes, okay, I did this to procrastinate. :/ And now I ran out of stuff I'd do during my holidays...and my neck is still hurting.

Next semester's modules:

Level 2.2

Customer Relationship Management (I might like this since I took Fundamentals of Customer Service this semester)
Inventory Management
Quality Management
Business Process Engineering (It has the word "engineering" in it = sounds terrible already)
Distribution and Transportation
Idea Launchpad
Interdisciplinary Studies (IS) module

That is...if I can pass my exams properly first.

What's your story?

2010-02-19T01:53:00.000+08:00

Math is a conspiracy.

Pixel dream

2010-02-12T20:54:00.031+08:00

I spent the day spring cleaning! I was telling Zhenyu and Yibing the other day how awesome spring cleaning is because of the sense of achievement you get after that. And being everything just looks so clean and neat, like it's right out of that Ikea catalog that everyone loves (well I know I do).

In the midst of dumping stuff. This box here is full of stuff from Secondary school. I'm only clearing them now because my mum decided to move my desk from the balcony, post O Levels, and I just threw everything from my desk into these two huge Ikea boxes. I've been busy (or lazy) ever since, so I only just got around to them now.

Every time I tidy up my room or my desk, I always intend to take before and after photos just to inflate my sense of achievement even more, but I always forget to take the before photo, and by the time I rel, I would be almost done tidying so there's no more point. The camera was lying around this time so I finally, finally remembered.

I promised Mum I'd help hang up the Lunar New Year decorations today, since I didn't have school and didn't have any other plans. We don't have a Christmas tree at home, so I can't look forward to hang up Christmas decorations, but cliche as they are, I love Lunar New Year decorations. Can't say the same for Lunar New Year songs though. :/

Ma and Pa putting up the decorations.

This is the big ass ornament we have on our door. We got this in Shanghai two years ago, but wasn't able to make use of it until now because of my Yeye's passing early last year. Dajie got shocked by it when she came home, heh.

The other two big ass ornaments: the pair of China Panchang knots. This one's from Hongkong, and Dad lugged it all the way back in his luggage. I wonder how the people working in Customs reacted when they opened my Dad's luggage, eh?

So I promised photos, here they are. Get ready to misuse the scroll wheel on your mouse! I took a long time uploading everything so you better weep in appreciation for every photo you look at. Or you know, just remember that I am awesome. Yeah anyway, moving on.

20 - 22 December 2009 - Pre-Christmas Chalet

-

21 January 2010 - Dinner with Adila the dongsaeng.

ㅋㅋ Daiso rabbit ears.

26 January - Sin Cheong's 18th Birthday dinner.

We had dinner at Baystreet 21. The food was, well, pretty disappointing and the service was really pretty bad, especially since all three of us have taken a module in customer service in some way or another. Can't expect too much though; the restaurant was empty even when we went during the peak hour.

Yes, he was 18 years and 1 day old when this was taken.

xoxo

Hope you guys had fun stealing my photos! Now it's officially past midnight and is hence the eve of Lunar New Year! I'm going have so much fun watching really old and crappy shows on Channel 8 the whole of the first and second day. /sarcasm

For all the money we pay them and all the viewership we give, the least they could do is give us some thing nice and recent to watch for Lunar New Year, jeez.

Anyway, good night!

Space Monkey

2010-02-11T15:48:00.004+08:00

Hello, Blogosphere! Today, despite all odds, had been a good day. It didn't turn out as horrible as I thought it would be, because apparently, life likes to surprise you even on a mundane day such as this one.

We were allowed to use our textbooks for today's horrible Econs test, as a "Chinese New Year surprise". I'm probably (hopefully) never going to see this lecturer again, but my god he was my God of Fortune today. I passed the test in the end, but mostly because of Dee's help, which I heavily depended on. Thank you, Dee!

The whole class decided to skip Math class, and thirteen of us went for a prata party at Al-Azhar, just like we did last semester. I like how this might become a class tradition, because we really don't hang out at all during the semester. We're scattered all over the island, and meeting or doing something where everyone will enjoy themselves is pretty difficult.

So we had a good time, planned the Lunar New Year house-visiting routes and stuffed ourselves full. Had a few laughs and then headed home with Zhenyu, Yibing and Benjamin. It was nice taking the bus with them again, talking about Lunar New Year and our families. I never knew Yibing was Teochew. Bet my mum will take a liking to her if she ever met her, with her Teochew bias and all.

And twilite_gerl91 didn't do anything so Dee and I (mostly I, I think) are really happy. Win!

Three things to share this time.

“I think I’ve got really weird features. I have very large features on a very small head,” she tells the magazine. “But, you know, I’m not going to beat myself up. It’s my face. I’m not very pretty. But that’s OK because I do know that I look like myself, and I think at the end of the day, as nice as pretty is, authenticity is more important.”
-Anne Hathaway, from InStyle.

Preach it, sister!

From here. 난좋아해!

Astair by Matt Costa
A song from the ending of Chuck Season 3, Episode 7 that I'm looping right now.

So it's that time of the year again. It's Lunar New Year in three days, it's the last day of the semester, I passed my Econs test, it's a beautiful day, the sky is as blue as it gets, I'm meeting my homies Glenda, Sincheong and Denard later, I met Adila yesterday. For now, life is good, and I won't/shan't ask for anything more.

Next post, photos from a really long time ago! Even over the internet, I can feel Sincheong's glare, boring a hole into my blog layout, him thinking "Where are the darn photos from my birthday and the chalet?! I want them! And my blog layout too!". Well, just wait one more day, brother. Not the blog layout though, heh.

Are you Lightning?

2010-02-08T11:20:00.003+08:00

Well, despite being slightly underachieving, the last of my projects is presented, submitted, and done with. It's strange, because just about a few weeks ago, Dee and I were still procrastinating, thinking that we could leave WP to finish at the last minute. Cliched as it sounds, time flew and I barely saw it fly past.

I have one more online test (bloody Econs), two more exams, and I'm homefree! Okay not quite, since I still have a shitload of yearbook assignments to complete. But I'd have more time to hang out with that kid Adila. And probably Syai, Nam and Fah if they're able/willing to meet up with me, and the usual bunch of secondary school people too. I'd plan something now, but I'm fresh out of ideas of where to go, what to do, and out of time too. Math exam is a week after Lunar New Year and ITL exam is a week after that.

I haven't touched ITL despite wanting to do it since five weeks ago. Procrastinator alert!

Oh and my first Korean club session today (finally)! Hope I meet nice people, even if today is the last session of the semester. I heard it's Movie Night today, whoot.

The Parisian Dream

2010-02-03T22:44:00.003+08:00

I found this out some time last week, but was too overwhelmed by projects to mention it here.

Okay, who in the world knew the First Lady of France could sing? I actually heard one of her songs playing in the background on Chuck, and I actually loved it. The last French song I heard, I forgot quickly. But this I really do like.

Carla Bruni -L'amoureuse

I may not understand what she's singing at the first listen (by far I only can tell you directions and what time it is in French, sadly), but Dajie once told me that a good song is a song that you can appreciate even without the lyrics.

Also, I find it really cool that Carla Bruni can sing, and even model. I mean, I can't even remember the name of our First Lady. Call me an ignorant brat, but in my defense, neither the president nor his wife is publicised in our country at all. Seriously, I see Mr. Nathan once a year, and that's during the National Day Parade, which I stopped watching two years ago.

As much as I love a good parade, this parade, as almost every Singaporean knows, has only three objectives. One, to show off our advanced weaponry and stable military to our neighbouring countries. Two, fun packs for the typical Singaporean. Three, fireworks. So much for a celebration, eh?

That's as far as I'd talk for now. I'm actually here in this space because I finished Season 2 of How I Met Your Mother, and I've yet to steal other episodes from Jeremy. Tomorrow, I shall trade him the other seasons for Episode 6 of Chuck.

To answer that question, yes, I'm not the only major geek in the class.

Suit up!

2010-02-03T13:33:00.002+08:00

I drift from class to class every single day, falling asleep in some, getting stressed out in another, doodling, thinking about when the lecturer will let us off for breaks, nudging Dee and yabbering on about something totally random and then cracking up. I barely know what I go to school for. There's nothing to look forward to; one day is as bleak as the other.

And then when you think you can't take it anymore, a lecturer gets sick.

I swear, teachers and lecturers are like the worst profession on this planet. When they get sick, people actually cheer and whoop and hope they continue being sick for the rest of the week. When they're healthy, people curse the shit out of their immune systems and wish they'd fall sick. I'm not going to kid, I cheer everytime I hear my lecturer is on MC, then I feel bad, but then I remember I'm not done with some assignment, and then I cheer again.

Today is one of these days. My lecturer was sick the week before the last, and he's sick again today. I think today was supposed to be our last Fundamentals of Customer Service lesson, and we were supposed to do some "Handling Customer complaints" roleplay. God forbid I'm horrible at acting and will end up coming off as condescending towards the customer. Anyway, since he fell sick, we're only supposed to submit a complaint letter as an assignment, which is now apparently worth 15% of our grade.

I found out at 9AM thanks to Julia who called when I was sleeping, and I came online to double-check on the email he sent us. I was supposed to flop back to sleep after that, but then I couldn't, so I read a book. I've borrowed this book since last week, despite knowing I have no time at all to read. I barely made it past the first chapter.

I found time to read today though, and it's been such a long time since I could snuggle in bed with the air conditioner on. It was bliss, I tell you. The simple pleasures in life and what they can do to you.

Sometimes, I actually like waking up early and still sleeping at 2AM. It's not healthy, but it makes me feel like I have extra hours given to me as a gift. Like today, I read for what, three hours in bed, and now I can study for my horrid Web Publishing test on Friday. Or do Math. And at night, I can watch How I Met Your Mother.

How I Met Your Mother is the shit right now. I watch it all the time now since it's currently broadcasting Season 5 and I'm still at like mid-Season 2. Totally slow, but worth it. I love Chuck as the next person, but it's taking a long time for Tudou to sub and upload it, so meanwhile, it's How I Met Your Mother for me.

Well, I've dallied long enough. Off to the A4 lined paper for me!

...Or maybe I'd watch a few episodes of How I Met Your Mother.

This is for my friends,

2010-01-29T01:39:00.000+08:00

I have friends who are also my family. I have friends who loves ninjas and pirates and Muse. I have friends who are naive. I have friends who love to make me laugh by doing epic faces. I have friends whom I spazz about Kpop over. I have friends who look out for pimp rings for me. I have friends who say the most ridiculous and bitchiest things. I have friends from Primary 1 and kindergarten that I still stalk online. I have friends who are flying off to Australia in two hours. I have friends who pursue their dreams and their passion. I have friends whom I am not very close to, but is willing to sit and watch me draw for forty-five minutes while I wait for my other friend. I have friends who give me books just because. I have friends who I don't know anymore. I have friends who I lost while growing up. Most of all, I have friends who love me for who I am because I am that awesome.

Cheers to friendship, everyone!

Oh I figured I should reply to everyone on my tagboard again. I haven't replied since 2010 started, aha.

Everyone who complimented my (not-so-new-anymore) blogskin: Thank you!
Syaifullah: everyday i sneak out of my class and make my way to the cafe near my class and buy miranda orange. i dont care, it really looks like a miranda.
You're dyslexic, Syai.

Fah: i went to the new year resolutions website you pasted and the first five things that i clicked for were all done before! and then i came across "Go to Yoga" and i stopped. HAHAHA
Heh. Yoga is actually pretty easy. Just get a smelly yoga mat and you're ready to go.

Amni: and Fah! sorrylah.. but I AM awaiting for his return. he HAS to be back by march 2010. okay maybe april. or june. HAHA
By March 2010 so that he can be prepared for their next album? Yes please! 8D

missM: i absolutelee loveeeee your new hairdo and the color and the things you bought, and your NP tee too! it looks daamn cool :)
I love it too, though it took some time to get used to. Yeah I love that the NP tee is black and gold huhuhu.

FAH: leon got wiser. i totally agree. .___.
I know right, it's scary.

yixin: haha im alw amazed how you can blog amd complete your assignments still! explains why mine is dead. anyw, are you and your sis free on 27th feb?
I do it while I'm procrastinating, which I dare admit is way more often than I should. 27th February is too early to tell, but my exams end on the 26th so most probably I'd be able to make it! (Fei: "I guess so")

Ange: shit mansssss, the card so ugly still take picture sia! anyways, was touched by your paragraph about us :D love you, always.
A card is still a card! I already have a book in mind to give you for your birthday, woohoo!

FAH: i had a nightmare you me nam were sick that we got hospitalised but SYAI didnt come to visit us. D:
Pssh, trust Syai to be such a horrible bitch, hmph.

Syaifullah: WTF FAH?!! HAHAHAHA.
You know it's totally true.

FAH: cheer up, you know how beech the guys are. D:
Yeah, I know, but I'm glad today evening worked out anyway.

missM: love you too! :D the video looks awesomely and beautifully created! and i love the specs that goes so well with your new shirt :D missing you alrd!
Haha I know right! I love time lapses. And I bought the specs at such a perfect time, hahahaha. I miss you too! Now I can't wait for you to come back in December!

Aces

2010-01-28T01:25:00.005+08:00

Today I experienced the power of wind. And that I probably shouldn't sit near the school pond anymore. And I should probably get a paper weight.

Today I got my fourth Threadless shirt. I am happy!
Today I accidentally blew up at Ben because I was rushing my CATS project and the guys were being whiny about going to Vivo. Sorry Ben!
Today I got peanut butter M&M's (which are more awesome than the average peanut ones, by the way), but was too busy to eat them. Boo.
Today I realised how special it is to see the moon in the bright blue afternoon sky.
Today I remembered how much I loved time lapse videos.

Sky from Philip Bloom on Vimeo. Watch in full screen.

Today I also realised how I'm going to be Year 2 very, very soon. And that, stirs up an odd feeling I can't describe.

For now, I shall leave my burdock root soup (mum has this thing for burdock root now I think) and this laptop and all my projects and you, and head to bed. I must be mad blogging at this hour. Class starts in 8 hours and I have to be up by 6.30AM.

Oh and French test went verily well. ;D

Here's a shout out to my two cousins in Australia; to the one who just went back: Sorry I couldn't be there to send you off! Do take care over there, and next time come back with your sister! Love ya!
And to the one who's coming back on Saturday: It's your turn for Haato! 8D

Here goes nothing

2010-01-20T22:17:00.002+08:00

Finally getting started on my CATS report right now. FCS class got cancelled today, so I flopped back to sleep at 10AM and slept till 2.40PM. Those Facebook groups were right; your bed does feel more comfortable when you sleep in on a school day.

I then spent the whole afternoon lazing around, watching Episode 4 of Chuck's latest season, watching Mean Girls for the millionth time (thanks to Dee) and more lazing around. The day flew past before I knew it and now it's already 10.21PM. I have three more projects to go, a couple of tests, two exams and then I'm all set for the holidays. Except that I still have that dreaded Yearbook thing to get done.

Sigh. That To-do list of mine will never seem to go away.

Okay now, back to the CATS report. >;

This machine and I

2010-01-16T21:40:00.008+08:00

Went to hell and back this week. The projects are all due one after another and I've been sleep-deprived just trying to get started on them all. So far only Econs and ITL is done. WP, FCS, CATS, Maths (yes we even have a project for Maths wtf) is left. FCS and Maths is due next week, CATS is due the week after the next, and WP is due...some time in February.

On top of all these, I have a shitload of stuff to complete for the Yearbook because Tengteng left, and I have to redo some (well most) of her work. Before her work was added on, I already had some new events to cover, as well as the old stuff that Mrs Lee and Mr Low keeps wanting me to edit. Not only that, because the only other designer left is Ferly, who is supposedly busy cos she has that LISCM committee to commit to and because she's Year 2, I might have to do her work too. Okay, I'm sorry, but I'm human too. I have my own work to do too. I also have a life to keep to. You can't expect me to pick up all the slack for these people because they're busy. I'm busy too, okay. I'm Year 1, which means my GPA is as important as ever since it might be the only time I can actually score well.

I mean, come on, upon graduating, the Year 3s will throw the book aside. Is it really that important whether the headers are aligned left or if that font is appropriate or not? No one's going to actually sit and appreciate and marvel at how well it's done. Maybe they will, within the first 15 minutes of getting the book. After that? Fat hope.

Oh and my plans to working during March? Ruined. They might actually need me to stay in the MDE office for hours and days during March so that I can complete this before April, when they have to send everything for printing. I get CCA points, yes I do. But bloody hell it's called a committee, okay. You don't call it a committee when there's only one person doing everything.

ARGH. ANGST ANGST ANGST.

Anyway, on to happier things. I got lots of new things this week too. Well okay, it's not really a lot, but more than usual.

Yes, kids! Ngee Ann Polytechnic finally has their own shirt! I'm not exactly sure if this is the official one, but it still beats all the "I ♥ NP" ones that ought to be burned because they used Comic Sans for it. I don't understand why people insist on using Comic Sans. Can't you see that it's not comical in any sense? It's horrible. It's hideous. Why does it even exist?! Okay, anyway, point is. Yay shirt! It's by the NPSU, if I'm not wrong, and it's already out of stock. Well at least it looks good enough to be the official NP shirt. No hint of Comic Sans gets a pass in my book.

My Christmas present from Ange. Since Sec 2, she's been giving me the books that she's read before. I asked her why before, and she said she wanted to share the books she'd enjoyed with some one else. So for her birthday last year, I gave her a book. Guess this is going to go on for a few years until we forget each other, eh? :D Thanks for the book, Ange! Shall read it when I'm free since right now I haven't got time for anything else. :/

The tiny package I've been waiting for all week.

Yes, the hangul says "style networks" too, though literally it is "seu-ta-il ne-teu-woeok-seu".

I would buy a shitload of stuff off Zipia if I could, but I can't, so this shall suffice my need for more accessories for now. No girl can have enough accessories. Or shoes.

Plus the rings I ordered for Nam.

Now I have two books left to read. The book Ange gave me, plus the Sartorialist book from Dajie. I haven't had the heart to open and read it yet. It pains me to even bend the spine. I can't wait for my exams to be over, for me to get started on actually living a life.

Good thing is that I finally get to pursue a CCA after French class ends next next week, which is Korean club (don't laugh; it's actually pretty awesome, I've heard) I'm kind of sad though, because once it ends, I won't get to see Cute Korean Boy around anymore. ): Unless, of course, the heavens are nice enough to put him in the same French class as me next semester (god I can only hope karma would be nice to me). Speaking of which, yes, I'm probably going to continue French lessons. Leon made a good point the other night. No point learning the basics of French, and then learning the basics of yet another language. At the end of the day you'd only have the basics of both and that gets you nowhere.

Damn that Leon got wiser lately.

Plus if my French class doesn't clash with Korean Club, I can actually learn Korean during CCA sessions. And maybe Japanese if I can take it up for IS classes in my second semester in Year 2.

Awesome, I can't wait to embark on learning new languages. I'm such a nerd, I actually look at a word and feel this gigantic bubble of achievement if I know how to say it in French, Korean and Japanese. Hey, but if it helps me with my career in the future, why not, right?

I've spent way too much time doing this post. BACK TO MATH. Oh and I should probably mention. I don't even hate Math that much anymore. After mugging so hard for my O Levels and getting a B4, I feel a lot better doing Math nowadays. Doesn't mean I still don't get careless mistakes though. I got a 60/100 for my Math CT because I had a shitload of careless mistakes. Sigh. Some things don't change.

Northern lights.

2010-01-10T15:47:00.003+08:00

This fleeting world is
A star at dawn,
A bubble in a stream,
A flash of lightning
In a summer cloud,
A flickering light,
A phantom,
And a dream.

- The Diamond Sutra.

Same old sounds in the same old house.

2010-01-06T19:45:00.003+08:00

I am the epitome of procrastination. I can spend 2 hours on Wikipedia reading supposedly related articles, but I can't spend two minutes reading my Econs slides. I have an Econs test tomorrow.

Oh and 'tis a special night, mes amis! The streetlights in front of my block aren't switched on. While looking at how dark and lovely the road was, I saw an old man get honked at for walking in the middle of the road. Poor dude.

Okay, okay fine, back to the slides. And not the fun kind, mind you.

Run for the record

2010-01-03T14:51:00.005+08:00

is what I got
Here I am, day 3 into the first decade of the millennium, rushing projects. Every start of the holiday, I swear that I won't leave my work till the very last minute. Every last two days of the holiday, I end up rushing my work anyway.

Procrastination: 1, Jiali's Willpower: 0.

So anyway, like I said, I've been busy trying to get my Web Publishing web page and PowerPoint together, plus that 5-page report for Fundamentals of Customer Service, and the work I haven't touched for the Graduating Yearbook, and that Econs test I haven't studied for. All these worries, within three days of the new year. I'm so busy, I haven't even found time to whine about school starting tomorrow. I don't know, it might be the fact that it's a short semester, plus once I finish this semester, it's Year 2 for me, so I'm actually not that affected, other than all the work I have to rush once I get back to school.

...No, seriously, I'm actually not whining. AMAZING.

I guess I should talk about New Year resolutions. Or the lack of them. I don't quite believe in New Year resolutions. Not because I'm totally cool or anything (I'm cool because of other reasons), but because I know I wouldn't keep to them. You set resolutions on Day 1, by Day 35, you would've forgotten about them. Maybe on Day 237 you might remember them, then have a go at keeping to them again, but by Day 245 you'd probably be all "Okay, let's just forget it. It's too late to fulfill these resolutions.". True fact.

But I found a website, some of them I might keep. Some of them I think I already fulfilled them without knowing. There, go have a look here.

(This is what I got. I can already do this huhu)

And you know how every country now celebrates the countdown with fireworks? Fireworks aside, I think counting down in London would be the best. Literally ringing in the new year with Big Ben's chimes and all; so solid and final and impactful. I saw it on a video the other day, on how people around the world ushered in the new year, and man I want to be in London for the countdown. Those Britons are bloody lucky, I must say. I mean, it's not as if the Merlion would start roaring at midnight anytime soon.

I came across photos of countries welcoming 2010 again when I was taking a break at Neatorama, and this is one of them. Fujikawaguchiko town, Japan, home of the famous Mt. Fuji.
According to the caption at the website:

People admire the moment the sun rises above Mount Fuji, which is known locally as the "Diamond Fuji", from atop Ryugatake mountain in Fujikawaguchiko town, southwest of Tokyo on New Year's Day January 1, 2010. Mount Fuji, at 3,776 metres, is believed to be sacred and is seen as a symbol of good luck, more so during the New Year period.

Here's the website if you want to have a look. I also especially loved the photos of the Russians and Parisians and the one with the tiger. Naturally, Singapore wasn't in the list. Gee, I wonder why.

All the talk about 2010 and I guess it's becoming less surreal for me. Every time I wake up from a countdown, the day feels bizarre and yet ordinary at the same time. Like I mentioned previously, it's like being in a limbo.

2010, please be nice to me.

一期一会。

2009-12-31T14:12:00.002+08:00

Howdy, y'all! I'm feeling like I'm stuck in limbo since 2010 is a day away, and 2009 hasn't quite ended yet. I would do a long post about 2009 like I did about 2008, but I'm heading over to Mabel's house soon and I'm already about an hour late. Plus, God knows how long I would take to navigate around the new bus interchange.

Anyway, I'm very excited about this new blog layout, mainly because it's the first time I've put something I've drawn as a blog layout. Yes, I drew that header above and it took me about half an hour. It was tedious and not the best thing to do at 3AM, but I just really felt like doing it then. When I was done, I scanned it in and put it on Photoshop and added in the words. I'm extraordinarily proud of it, huhu.

The words "一期一会" has been on my profile page for a while now (it's still there if you click over now cos I know none of you would actually look at my profile page before this anyway). It's Japanese kanji, and read as "ichigo ichi-e". 一期一会 is basically "one chance in a lifetime", and is related to the Japanese tea ceremony (but I got to know of this saying through Hana Yori Dango, haha).

Hopefully in 2010, I'd learn to better cherish everything I get, because it is, after all, only once in a lifetime.

To all the people who've made an impact on my life this year, to the people who's made me laugh or smile, thank you. My year would have been very boring and mundane without you.

To the new people I've met only this year, thank you for letting me be in your life too. Without you guys, my year probably wouldn't have quite been as exciting,

To the people who've stood by me no matter what change we're going through, thank you. Life is scary without a familiar face to guide and be there for you.

So to all these people I hold close to my heart, here's to a very happy and smooth-sailing 2010!

We'll be a Dream

2009-12-30T11:36:00.000+08:00

Does anyone remember The Wild Thornberrys? Dee and I were talking on MSN just now about our soon-to-be-due Web Publishing topic, which involved doing some sort of webpage about some random animal, and then...

Love long and prosper:
cool bananas we can even use the whale's singing as the background music or something
*v* OK LET'S DO BLUE WHALE~
DY▲N▲:
why do blue whales have songs???
Love long and prosper:
they make this low frequency thing underwater
(this is something i learnt from Eliza Thornberry lulz)
DY▲N▲:
hahah same
OMG I CANT BELIEVE YOU RMB IT
Love long and prosper:
SERIOUSLY ME NEITHER BUT I THINK COS I KEPT WATCHING THAT EPISODE
IT JUST GOT EMBEDDED IN MY MIND
PSSH AND PARENTS CALL CARTOONS "MINDLESS"
DY▲N▲:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

And yes, in case you were wondering, this does happen between us a lot; random excitement about old Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network shows.

Point is, I used to love The Wild Thornberrys so much (way more than Rugrats, thank you very much), it actually inspired me to love animals. Of course, this love for animals didn't get anywhere after I watched the Discovery Channel and realised that animals aren't quite as nice and friendly as they appear in TWT. Plus I couldn't get over my irrational fear/hatred for the vile creatures called lizards. *shudders*

The good old Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network shows were the best. Remember Kenan and Kel? Man I was addicted to that show when I first got Nickelodeon on Cable. I don't care even if it didn't make sense how Kel could just live with Kenan even when his dad hated him so much. But now everytime I look at Mirinda Orange now, I think of Kel and have to resist the urge to ask "Who loves orange soda?". Oh, and remember Catdog, Legends of the Hidden Temple, Figure It Out and All That? Ah, the good ol' days.

...Yep, this is just some random babbling from me.

Who's sick, by the way. I caught my Dad's flu. ): What a way to end the year, eh?

The Kims and the Parks

2009-12-26T20:36:00.003+08:00

January 27, 2006. Christmas lights in The Seoul Plaza, South Korea.

By Carpe Feline.

This, my friends, is why I love winter and Korea. And why I have a Korean fetish. (Oh and my love for Big Bang and 2NE1 contributed, too, yep.)

Dear sartorialist, Sir

2009-12-25T02:46:00.005+08:00

I've been stalking Scott Schuman's blog, The Sartiorialist for awhile now. More specifically, ever since Dajie showed me some photos he took. No long-winded rhyme or reason as to why I stalk it so much. Basically, I guess you can say I like what he perceives as "fashionable" and "style", especially in this crazed up world where people think of American Apparel as the God of of things good (it's not; have you seen their ads?).

So the other day when Dajie and I went shopping at Orchard Ion, and we were walking through Borders, I chanced upon his book. I knew he published a book recently, but I guess it didn't occur to me that Borders would actually stock it. I was flipping through it, but Dajie was already walking on ahead so I put it back on the shelf.

Well, now it's sitting next to me.

Christmas has been pretty great so far. From the black out we had 15 minutes to midnight, to the people in the opposite block playing mahjong with a vengeance (they're still at it), to both Dajie and Erjie liking the presents I got for them (I think), to Syaifullah stealing his neighbour's socks for me (don't know how true this is, shall verify) and then getting this book.

Now do excuse me as I fawn and drool over it. It might take me another month to bear to open and flip through it.

Once again, everyone, Happy Holidays.

Say Hello to Christmas

2009-12-25T00:04:00.002+08:00

First things first:

Because now e-cards are everything! Real cards or not, Merry Christmas!

I love Christmas. I love how over-rated it is, how every one gets their panties in a twist just shopping for their family and friends, I love buying santa hats every single year, no matter how my friends declare it silly and a waste of money every time. I love extravagant Christmas trees, I love Starbucks during Christmas season, and basically I just love the whole spirit of Christmas.

Oh yes, and I loved Love Actually ever since the first time I watched it, and that was in probably 2006, which was three years after it came out. Old as it is, I still it's better than the other Christmas movies I've watched by far. Plus, it's British!

There, a merry (okay not quite) song for you to enjoy if you happen to be sitting around at home in your own Santa hat and hot chocolate.

OOOOH MY HOMIE MABEL IS BACK YAY!

The stories a wall would tell

2009-12-20T01:50:00.003+08:00

Hey all you lurkers and non-lurkers out there. I'm going to take a break from my usual spot in front of my laptop at home for the next three days! I'm heading over to a chalet with the Student Council usuals later in the afternoon.

I've been very sceptical about attending chalets since the horrifying class chalet from two years ago. The details and events of that night are sketchy, but I just remember a lot of things truly could have been avoided. Hmm, looking back at the blog post I made, I totally forgot the fact that I actually accidentally deleted all of Glenda's photos on her camera...

Anyway, I'm hoping this will be a pleasant chalet since there's only a small group of us. Plus Nam and I are planning to do silly things, and if anything turns out horribly, I'm just going to hide in the chalet room and read. That reminds me, I have to go find a book to bring there.

Oh and you know how shitty chalets in Singapore are, right? I mean, they're pretty notorious for misleading photographs as far as, well, misleading photographs of chalet rooms go. Ever wondered where the word "chalet" came from? Well, here's a Wikipedia link.

I haven't been to a huge variety of chalets in Singapore (if there's a huge variety of chalets to choose from at all), but the ones I've been to, doesn't seem to fit into Wikipedia's definition.

We've all been cheated, I tell you. CHEATED.

Well, anyway, here's to hoping for a sucessful chalet.

I skipped on my Fundamentals of Customer Service report to watch The Lion King yesterday. I would like to mention, once again, how much I miss the Disney Renaissance. I...don't know if I should even watch Princess and the Frog.

Okay, off to pack le sac maintenant.

Stranger and stranger

2009-12-16T16:03:00.006+08:00

Believe it or not, I actually found the Maths paper alright. With such an easy class quiz two weeks before our Common Test, I thought for sure that I was going to be brutally murdered by the latter. On contrary, other than the 20+ marks that I'm definitely not going to get, I'm actually rather confident that I'd pass. Nothing's for sure though, but I do wish that after all the paper I've wasted revising Maths, the effort would at least pay off.

While I was revising, it made me think. Why exactly do we study so much and so hard? I mean, sure, we have to be at least knowledgable, educated and understand a basic language and I'm not saying we should boycott the education system. But, really. Is it to secure a future for ourselves? But the future isn't set in stone; what you study now may be deemed unnecessary with the rate of technology advancement. To earn more money in the future? But why do we need money, really? After all, that cash you hold in your hand; the paper with Mr. Yusof and the coins that we all hold so dear (okay I don't know about you but I hate having coins around in my wallet sometimes) is in fact worth nothing. It's the ideas and concepts that we put on them that makes them valuable.

Or is it to live up to society's standards? That's what bugs me the most. What standards? Do you really have to be deemed worthy because you're intelligent and can do mental sums in your head at the speed of light? Every life on Earth; plant, animal, human is worth something. No one is useless because everyone is good at something. And yet, it's hard to break down this notion that you're only worth something in life if you're smart. As much as I hate to admit it, I study because I want/have to live up to society's standards. , I grew up thinking that no matter what, I have to achieve fair results. Not "good" or "best" results, but just fair. I've always been happy with a pass, unless I've actually made extra efforts at a subject (this applies especially to Math, heh).

So really, I'd like to ask, why do you study?

As most of you should know by now, my Dajie works in Resorts World, Sentosa under Universal Studios. About three days ago, she came back with a Spongebob and a Simpsons lanyard. Guess which one I chose?

I'm such a geek, I actually got so excited over the lanyard. Enough to actually take photos of them when I was procrastinating from Maths. There's Homer, Marge, Lisa, Bart, Maggie, Sideshow Bob and Krusty the clown on it and I don't even care if it's too long since I'm so obviously short. Thanks, bb!

...Doodling, as usual.

It started raining just now and two birds decided to make the window of the study room a shelter/pit-stop. Except when they land on it just to shit, I like it when birds land on our windows. It makes me feel special, them picking our window out of so many other windows in the neighbourhood. Be thankful for the little wonders in life, everyone.

This one took off one second after I took this photo. Sensitive bird is sensitive.

-

Mabel is off to Australia, Manyong and Jianhong off to Seoul, Korea (major jealousy here), and even Dad is in Seoul. Granted, he's on a business trip and almost always overseas but still. I totally should be in Hongkong or something right now! Spending the whole of December in Singapore is not the norm for me, and I'm missing Hongkong like mad. I don't care, I'm going to whine about this all the way until after the year ends, even if it's not going to change anything. :/

I suppose I can go during the next semester break when Dajie can start taking annual leaves too but it's not going to be cold anymore! GAAAAAH.

Oh, yesterday, I went to Orchard Ion again, and spent the longest time there. For the first time, I went with Julia. Despite being best friends for so long, we don't exactly go out or shop together, mostly because back in Primary school, her parents were strict and now that woman is still working everytime she's not studying. AND SHE STILL MANAGES TO GET A 3.9 GPA. *Rage* But she's Julia so I forgive her. :D

Anyway, she had to shop for make-up for her dance performance coming up, and at the same time we needed to experience good customer service in order to actually write a report five to seven pages long for our Fundamentals of Customer Service module, due the first Wednesday of 2010. We spent about two hours in Sephora, letting the assistants there put make-up on here, remove it, only to let another person put it on again. It's an excruciating process, and she ended up spending $334 there. It's a wonder how much money women can spend on make-up, let along their whole appearance.

Oh and yes, Sephora does have very good customer service, if you wanted to know. I won't expect less, since Ion is so frequented by tourists.

Time to put an end to this long-ass post. Have a nice week ahead!

Leaders of tomorrow.

2009-12-12T18:43:00.003+08:00

Hi. This is me procrastinating. This is me not doing Maths.
In three days' time, it would be me flunking Maths.

Good day, sir

2009-12-12T00:54:00.002+08:00

I've been working on my Web Publishing project since getting home at 3PM. That sense of accomplishment is swelling up in me again since I'm about 85% done! That is, if I haven't missed out anything.

I would feel even more accomplished if I'm slightly more awake enough now to complete some of my Maths. I guess I shouldn't push myself though, I haven't been sleeping well/enough this week. Doesn't matter! After Tuesday, I'd have enough to make up for all that I've lost (even though I know I won't sleep early anyway).

Meeting Glenda and Sincheong tomorrow! Haven't spent time with these two bitches lately, even if we are just going out to get pyjamas together...